'Honest John' Swinney spins tall tale about 'strict control' of cost of Scotland's £1 billion prison

If Honest John the Plumber suddenly announced the cost of fixing up the bathroom was now £10,000, not £4,000, then promptly declared costs were being kept “under very strict control”, his customer’s response might end up being a confused mix of righteous rage and shocked laughter at the cheek.

This, however, was the real, actual line delivered by ‘Honest John’ Swinney on being asked if the cost of the new prison to replace Barlinnie in Glasgow – once estimated at £400 million, now expected to be nearly £1 billion – might go up even more.

Don't worry, John Swinney will make everything seem like it's all right (Picture: Jane Barlow) | PA

Yet somehow, the First Minister seems to be able to get away with it. For all the First Minister’s shortcomings, he appears to have the knack of making even the most ridiculous statements sound entirely reasonable and plausible – a highly useful political trick, if you can master it.

Something to do with his stern-yet-friendly countenance, bank-managerly demeanour and at-times soporific voice. Dear taxpayers, if you ever find yourself struggling to sleep, let Swinney spin you a lullaby and watch the money trickle from your purse as your eyelids close...