The seagull has landed again - Celtic, Rangers, Hearts, Hibs and Co ready for another scrap
The Premiership is back upon us once more for the ultimate festival of football
Where to begin? Not necessarily the admission of a correspondent somewhat cowed by the challenging prospect of previewing a season when so much more upheaval is expected before the first transfer window deadline later this month.
It is also the title of what is described as a “hypnotic” multi-artform production conceived to “ignite” the Edinburgh International festival. “Where to begin” – no question mark – opens tonight in the grounds of the historic George Heriot’s school.
Festivals of art and football coincide this weekend. While one lasts far longer than the other, each will be crammed full of contentious issues, moments of genius and yes, plenty slapstick comedy.
Welcome to another season of Scottish league football, the 50th since the creation of a ‘Premier’ division in 1975. What better way to cure the post-Euro 2024 hangover than watching two seagulls fight over a roll? This was a sight we were treated to during a Premier Sports Cup clash between Dundee and Inverness Caledonian Thistle at Brechin’s Glebe Park last weekend.
The avian tug-of-war bout even held the game up briefly. The clip was recycled this week on X by the official SPFL website, with the comment: "We are SO back".
Whether an official outlet ought to be circulating footage of two mangy seagulls scrapping over a piece of crusty bread when it could be viewed as a metaphor for the race for the Scottish Premiership title is another question.
So, where do we begin? Well, perhaps one unexpected place is Pittodrie on the afternoon of 27 April 1985. Yes, it will have been 40 years since a non-Old Firm side lifted the Scottish title come this Spring, when it’s already all but guaranteed that Celtic and Rangers will be contesting the title yet again, although keeping the chase going as long as that might be wishful thinking on the Ibrox side's part.
Aberdeen were the last team outside Glasgow to lift the crown and did so with a 1-1 home draw against Celtic.
Alex Ferguson almost immediately started looking forward to the next challenge amid hopes Aberdeen could make a bid for European Cup glory.
The Pittodrie side’s ambitions are less stellar now. Simply making the top six would represent an upward curve from last season, when they somehow finished on minus four goal difference despite boasting one of the most lethal finishers in the league in Bojan Miovski.
The Dons have made an imaginative appointment in Jimmy Thelin but their hopes might rest on the retention of Miovski or at least how well they can replace him. All eyes on Ester Sokler, Miovski's Slovenian doppelganger and someone who has shown signs he can develop into a reliable marksman.
If only Aberdeen could unearth another Frank McDougall, the player who helped shoot Aberdeen to the title in his first season at the club in 1984-85. Rangers were placed fourth in that campaign, 21 points shy of the champions' total and 14 behind Celtic, which seems especially notable in the era of two points for a win.
There's not much chance the Ibrox side will finish so lowly this season. However, they might end up trailing their Old Firm rivals by a similar distance if they can't hit the ground running. And the ground in question happens to be in Mount Florida, where Rangers will play home matches until early Autumn at the very least.
Slow Boat to Govan could be the title of a comedy caper wowing critics in Edinburgh. Sadly for Rangers supporters, it’s a more serious affair. Roll up, roll up for The Ibrox Stadium Mystery: How did Rangers get themselves into a situation where they are operating under even greater pressure than was already the case following last season’s double D title collapse in Dingwall and Dundee? The two most important cups ultimately went to Celtic.
Manager Philippe Clement's attempts to revamp the squad have been hamstrung by a delay in transporting steel by sea to Glasgow to complete renovation work on their Copland Stand. It’s fair to say few had this saga on their Scottish football bingo cards.
It means Rangers will kick-off a season as pivotal as any in recent times while bunking down with their SFA friends at Hampden Park. It’s a clearly unwelcome situation and heaps even more pressure on Clement. His squad refreshment has been extensive but has it meant improvement?
The first Old Firm clash of the season on 1 September already seems a forbidding mission for the Belgian. At least there will be away fans present after the clubs reached an agreement over visitor allocations. Such an outbreak of common sense augurs well for a new season although we all know other squabbles will already be brewing.
One street fight takes place at Tannadice Park this weekend, where top-flight returnees Dundee United host Dundee in the first Dundee derby for over two years.
It’s only the fourth time the teams have faced each other in the opening league match of a new season, with the first time being in 1979-80. Tannadice has hosted all these meetings. United have won twice and drawn once but face a stiff test in Tony Docherty’s side, who look stronger at the current time than last season having secured a proven goalscorer in Simon Murray. The extent of Dundee's ambitions might rest on the retention of players, Lyall Cameron and Luke McCowan specifically.
The latter is a target for Hibs, for whom so much seems to be riding on the line, including David Gray’s reputation now that he has stepped into the role of permanent manager. No one – well, save for some down Gorgie way - wishes to see a Franck Sauzee situation develop with such a revered figure. As for the club across the city, success is maintaining their position as the third force in the country. Although given Rangers’ predicament, and their own reasonable work in terms of reinforcements, Hearts must surely focus on cutting the gap between themselves and the Ibrox side, who finished 17 points ahead of them last season.
Saturday’s mouth-watering Premiership opener between the teams would be a good time for Hearts to post an overdue win over Rangers at Tynecastle.
The race for the top six promises to be an epic bun fight. It's a non-negotiable as far as Aberdeen and Hibs are concerned following their struggles last season, but St Mirren already look strong. Kilmarnock will be there or thereabouts in their last season on an artificial surface. Motherwell, too, look stronger and have money to spend following Theo Bair's seven-figure move to Auxerre.
St Johnstone manager Craig Levein turns 60 in October and won't want to spend this landmark age scuffing around the bottom reaches of the Premiership - and neither will his new American paymasters. As for Ross County, losing their top scorer in Murray and chief schemer in Yan Dhanda, perhaps the most exciting of Hearts' recruits, looks ominous after two successive play-off escapes.
It seems more clear-cut at the other end. Celtic are once again the team to beat as they bid for a 14th title in 15 seasons and fourth in succession.
The impressive capture of veteran goalkeeper Kasper Schmeichel has done little to erode the champions' seeming impregnability. It’s likely Brendan Rodgers can celebrate another successful mission outside the Parkhead porch in May. The eagle is set to land again – or should that be seagull?
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