What Matters to Me: John Hegley, poet

Who would attend your fantasy dinner party? Edith Piaf, Joan of Arc, my French Folies Bergere dancing grandmere and Monsieur Cantona.

It’s not cool but... Still I admire the trainspotters. What are they doing? I’ll tell you what, they’re putting themselves on the spot, someone has to give a jot, they want the ones they haven’t got... like so many of us.

What’s the worst job you ever had? I wasn’t overly grateful to be working at Gateway supermarket as a schoolboy, but still felt sad to go, after my sacking for the lacking in 
my stacking.

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Did you have a nickname growing up? At school, I played a lot of Subbuteo table football and on this account, I was given the name Sub. They could have called me Beauty-o, but such was not felt appropriate.

What would be your alternative profession? John Keats once said that he could have been a hatter, I’d be happy to have a go at that with him, sitting together at our 
writers’ blocks.

If you could change something about yourself, what would it be? Je veux improver mon Francais.

If you could travel back in time, where would you go? I’d like to go back and tell Joan of Arc’s tormentors that she had to go on account of an important future dinner arrangement.

Saturday night or Sunday morning? Not quite sure why but I do like to wake up of a Sunday morning, under campsite awning.

Who or what is the love of your life? I love the life of language:/Its to-ing and its flow/How, like a child,/it will be wild/and go/its own 
way./Innit.

John Hegley is running a poetry masterclass today at the Wigtown Book Festival (www.wigtownbookfestival.com) at 1:30pm, and performing Peace, Love & Potatoes at 6pm, tickets for each event are £8. Peace, Love & Potatoes, is published by Serpent’s Tail on Thursday, £9.99.