My domestic god is the face of new British fatherhood

FOR the first time in my life, I'm the shape of things to come. Sadly for my waistline, that doesn't mean I'm a size zero, but rather that - for once - my lifestyle appears to be mirroring the zeitgeist.

I only realised this when I saw some new figures published as part of the Scottish Executive's annual Scottish Household Survey. I didn't knowingly take part in the data-gathering for this study, but when I saw the results, I could honestly say: "That's me, that is!"

You see, big changes have been happening in the McCade household recently. After much deliberation, my husband and I decided that his job, with all its attendant stress and ridiculously long hours, was preventing us from becoming the strong family unit we want to be. The fact that his job was our main source of income made it an incredibly scary decision, but we went with our gut instincts and, two weeks ago, he stopped work. He's taking time out to rest and to decide what he really wants to do and, while he's deciding, he'll be at home with me and the baby. We've taken a deep breath, tightened our belts and we're now facing 2007 with a lot less money, but with more hope for a happier future together.

Obviously, a decision like this gave us some sleepless nights, so, when I saw the statistic that in 41 per cent of Scottish households the principal breadwinner is now female, I felt more confident that our gamble would work. We're not alone. Maybe we're not so strange after all. And not just that, but the proportion of men volunteering to stay at home and look after the children has also risen, albeit to the dizzy heights of 1 per cent.

When you've made a big lifestyle change such as ours, it's reassuring to hear that there are other people out there, never mind how few, who are deciding that the old, traditional pattern of the working man coming home just as the 2.4 children are going to bed, eating, sleeping, then going to work again, is no longer acceptable as a way to live our lives. Add to that the fact that in many households the mother is out at work too, and you end up with a scenario where nobody really sees anybody else until the weekend. Then the family ends up wasting what could be quality time together on shopping trips, often spending money on treats to recompense Mum and Dad for having slaved all week to earn enough money to buy them.

I completely understand how money - or the lack of it - can terrorise people. For me, the most frightening thing about our new life is that although we've willingly accepted that we'll have to get by on much less than we've been used to, I am now solely responsible for what does come in, and I've never been in that position before.

The pill of possible looming poverty isn't massively sugared by the knowledge that the survey sees my family as being in the vanguard of significant social change, but it gives me hope that we're on the right track. Like many people embarking on an untried life experiment, I've been searching for role models and - give or take a few hundred million - I've realised that we are, in fact, the Ono-Lennons.

Like Yoko, I've been spending most of my time working, feeling important and shuffling paper in a responsible-looking way, and like John, my husband has been playing with the baby and waving muffin tins about, accompanied by vague promises that real home-baking is in the offing. Unlike the Ono-Lennons, we also watch Neighbours and fret about whether we should have the heating on during the day but, hey, I never said this was a perfect parallel.

I don't know if my husband will follow John Lennon's example and take a whole five years off work to bring up our child - I guess economics will decide the length of his sabbatical for us - but wherever possible, we're going to try and put our happiness first. In the past 14 days, he's already spent more time with the baby than he had done in the past 14 months, so we're all feeling good.

As for me, being at the cutting edge of social revolution has had unexpected advantages. I thought my other half might get under my feet, but he's turned out to be quite the domestic god. If you're a woman considering trying this kind of lifestyle, think of it less as losing a wage-earner and more as gaining a handyman, child-minder, cook and cleaner. So far, I'm recommending it.