Mary soon discovered the ‘caring’ American who had swept her off her feet was a serial bigamist who already had a wife, three fiances and six children.
After meeting the other wife, Mary realised she'd been targeted by a smooth-talking predator who had scammed her out of hundreds of thousands of pounds.
The mum-of-three from Edinburgh said: “His other wife and his wife’s nanny were pregnant by him. I just crumbled. He made me feel like I was the only one, but it had all been a big show.”
Fifteen years later Mary has now published her second book about the ordeal, ‘The psychopath’, and said she finally feels she has reclaimed her life after going through “hell on earth”.
Mary was a single mum with a one-year-old daughter when she met Jordan in 2000. After a whirlwind romance they married and later had two children, Eilidh and Zach.
From day one she says he fast-tracked the relationship.
Mary said: “He told me he was infertile. He had a way of creating intimacy quickly. Then he proposed within a month. It was full on, messages every day. Once I was hooked he made me feel like I was going insane. He kept me off balance by not doing as he’d said he would. He would send a dozen red roses to my work – but then he didn’t show up at our engagement party. It was a cycle of love bombing and gaslighting. It’s hard to explain.”
Jordan convinced Mary that he worked as an IT ‘man in the van’ for the CIA as cover for why he was away often. After their son Zach was born he told her there were dangerous men threatening to hurt their kids.
She said: “By that time I was so entrenched, I believed it. I sold my flat, life insurance and all I had to keep my kids safe. I even borrowed from my family. I remember walking around the house at night, unable to sleep. It was hell on earth. I had a 2 young kids and a baby but had to look down the back of the couch looking for coins. It ruined me.”
"I was terrified. That’s the power of psychological abuse. I was literally sleeping with the enemy.”
“His story was much more realistic than the truth. He is a psychopath who manipulates, impregnates and abuses women. I know of 14 victims. The latest one is a 19-year-old.”Jordan, a convicted sex offender, was deported to the US in 2009 after being jailed for three years for his bigamy.
The first book The Bigamist, is Mary’s candid account of Jordan’s betrayal. Mary has been contacted by several women who allege he has scammed them.
In The Psychopath she has teamed up with another victim in the US to give insights into the psychopathy behind his behaviour. She hopes it will help warn women of signs of abuse. “In the first book I dug myself out of a hole. This one I climbed a mountain. It’s about how I moved on and what he did next. I hope it empowers women to recognise techniques abusers use. I want people to know they are not stupid, it can happen to anyone.”
Since the book came out at the start of this month Mary has already received a message from a woman who believes she is talking to Jordan on a dating site in the US. She said: “She read my book and said alarm bells were ringing. She wanted me to know that the message is getting out. That is everything.”