The Smarts: Edinburgh Fringe attractions

THE Edinburgh Festival Fringe announces its full programme this morning, but here are nine things we know already…

1. Comedian John Robertson claims to have slept with the Queen in 1950, and is telling the story in a show called – brace yourself, royalists – The Old Whore. And if that’s not enough to satisfy your need for aristo-baiting Fringe shows, La Clique is doing a Jubilee-themed special, with Gerry Connolly in drag as Her Majesty.

2. Mark Thomas and Sean Hughes, below, are both doing shows paying tribute to their dads.

3. A mind reader, Doug Segal, will predict the results of the Olympics.

4. The record for the oldest ever Fringe performer will be broken again this year – by Cuban musician El Rey, who is doing a month-long run in Edinburgh at the age of 94 – that’s 16 years older than Buena Vista Social Club star Ibrahim Ferrer was when he died.

5. There are two venues called Assembly. It is, however, easy to tell them apart. One of them is absolutely furious about it, the other is rather pleased with itself and making no attempt to hide it.

6. Tony Benn is doing a Fringe show. Sort of. There will be two screenings of Will and Testament, a new film about the politician’s life, with a Q&A. Which all sounds more dignified than, say, a Tommy Sheridan chat show.

7. This year’s top novelty act? It’s likely to be Kaya, who was once a pop star in Canada, but now interprets people’s dreams for a living. He has spent years learning about dreams, it says here, “sometimes sleeping for 20 hours a day and having up to 50 dreams a night”.

8. Most Fringey show title this year: Michael Jackson Touched Me. A tribute by a fan for whom Jackson’s music was life-changing. Obviously.

9. David Hasselhoff is coming. Enough said.