WITH the festival season nearly upon us we look at the essential items that no savvy festival-goer would be without.
Travel light - The walk from the car park, to the campsite (predictably in the rain) is perhaps the most loathsome of all festival scenarios. Only pack essentials. Mix and match outfits and leave the Jimmy Choos at home.
Pitch up - If you haven’t chosen to sleep in a river, you don’t want to wake up in one. Carefully select your pitch, making sure it’s level and well-drained. Steer clear of the toilet area too.
Flag it up - Unless you have the navigation skills of a human compass, you’re in danger of never seeing your tent again. What you thought was an easy to find, premium spot for your weekend abode can easily morph into a ‘needle in a haystack’ scenario when you arrive back at night to find that 10,000 identical tents have been pitched in your absence. Stick an unusual flag on the top of yours to avoid the midnight disorientation.
Shine a light - A torch is essential for tent hunting in the dark and night-time toilet runs.
Plug in, tune out - Pack earplugs, because it’s a dead cert that someone in an unfortunately nearby tent is going to be up all night playing Wonderwall on an acoustic guitar and calling for a top-up of Buckfast.
Keep it clean - lengthy shower queues and volatile tap-hoggers make it virtually impossible to maintain a civilised level of hygiene at festivals, wet wipes and dry shampoo will be your sanitary saviours.
Toilet training - You’re going to have to go at some point. Pack some essential oil or tiger blam for under your nose to conceal the grim smell, perfect your hovering technique and don’t forget to use your anti-bacterial hand spray. No one wants festival tummy.
Get Suited and booted - by ‘suited’ we mean suitable clothing for all extremes of weather which can be layered up or down. No one wants to be wearing a fleece in the sunshine, or shorts in the rain for that matter. By ‘booted’ we mean wellies. Trench foot and mud rash is not a good look.
It’s in the bag - The trusty black bin bag is a versatile friend. Prevent your tent turning into a grotty tip by dispensing your rubbish. You can also use it to sit on it and rest your legs without getting a damp derriere and wear it in the expected eventuality of an unwelcome downpour.
Sun Scream - If you’re only prepared for a dreich Scots fest, the wiley ways of mother nature could catch you out with unexpected sunshine. Pack a hat, sun cream and midgie spray or you could be heading back to civvy street burnt and bitten.
Know your limits - A good festival can provide you with the experience of a lifetime. But over-indulgence in alcohol and drugs will leave you with few memories and a hateful liver. Pace yourself and don’t risk losing your friends or missing your favourite bands.
Back to life – Avoid hair of the dog like the proverbial plaque. Unfortunately for you, you are not a rock star and you do have to go back to work tomorrow. Eat, sleep and stock up on Milk Thistle to appease your over-worked liver before you return to the grind.