Week in, week out

KAMMY CAUGHT NAPPINGJeff Stelling and the Soccer Saturday gang are usually the first to provide their army of viewers with information on all the weekend action – but Chris Kamara was caught napping in a hilarious cock-up that left fans up and down the country baffled and in stitches.

When the camera panned to Kamara, who was covering the Portsmouth-Blackburn game, and Jeff asked for news of a red card that had flashed up on his screen in the 58th minute, the pitchside correspondent looked utterly bewildered and turned to face the action several times before concluding that no, there definitely hadn't been a red card. Confused by this response, Stelling continued to press his colleague, telling him that "his sources" had told him that Pompey's Anthony Vanden Borre had been dismissed. Kamara then replies along the lines of "oh yeah, I saw him walking off a few minutes ago, I thought he had been substituted."

Unbelievable Chris!

TIGER'S DOUBLE TROUBLE

It seems it's not just Tiger Woods who has seen his career suffer as a result of his high-profile misdemeanours – his lookalikes are also being affected.

Herme Chua was booed while doubling as Tiger at a recent gig, while Canh Oxelson, who also looks like the golfer, claims he is no longer getting the best tables at restaurants. As a result, the lookalikes can't wait for the world No 1 to restore his battered reputation. "I'm cheering for him," said Oxelson, who goes by the monicker Tigersdouble. "Of course, I have financial reasons for that."

A RIP-ROARING SUCCESS

A swimmer overcame a torn suit to claim victory in the 100m butterfly at the British Championships last week. Fran Halsall led from start to finish to touch in 57.83, second best in the world in 2010 and a personal best – especially impressive given the return to textile suits.

Asked about her suit tearing, the 19-year-old Loughborough ITC swimmer said: "When I put it on earlier I tried to get it over my shoulders and my back and it just ripped. I think my boobs are a little bit bigger than they should be at the moment or something. I had to get to the toilet and put a different one on when everyone else was in the call room."

LEVEIN EARLY

Scotland manager Craig Levein's timing was out at the weekend. He was at Turf Moor on Saturday evening to run the rule over Burnley's Steven Fletcher, Danny Fox, Kevin McDonald and Graham Alexander in what turned out to be a 6-1 mauling by Manchester City. However, having seen little to impress him from the Clarets quartet, Levein made for the exit after 70 minutes – a mere 60 seconds before Fletcher restored some pride for his side with a fabulous left-foot strike.

CRUISING THROUGH FINALS

Just as well England fans appear to have cleaned up their act in recent years, as World Cup officials have revealed some of them may be accommodated on a cruise liner during the finals this summer due to a shortage of hotel rooms in Port Elizabeth. South Africa could have seen stormy waters if the knuckle-draggers who used to follow the Three Lions hadn't already had their passports confiscated.