Week in, week out

RANGERS FANS TURNER OFFJUBILANT Rangers fans may been celebrating more silverware last night after their dramatic nine-man win in the Co-operative Insurance Cup final, but a section of them are reported to be "raging" with septuagenarian singer Tina Turner for her seemingly coldhearted attitude towards a bid to get her back to the top of the charts.

The News of the World brought us the story yesterday how Tina's "snooty aide" had dismissed a gallant Facebook campaign by more than 3,000 well-meaning Teddy Bears to send her 1989 song Simply The Best – their unofficial Ibrox anthem – to No1.

Tina's publicist Bernard Doherty told the paper: "Yawn. Tina has retired gracefully and is probably sitting in her mansion in the south of France with a Pina Colada. She couldn't give a monkey's about Rangers bloody football club and a song she recorded 20 years ago. She wouldn't be interested in supporting the campaign – she's far too sophisticated." But one Gers fan raged: "It's a disgraceful attitude. Tina would be chuffed we want her back in the charts."

HAMMER TIME

No, not a campaign by another group of supporters to get MC Hammer to the top of the charts, rather Liverpool striker Dirk Kuyt's bizarre choice of therapy to knock himself into shape.

The Liverpool and Netherlands striker has revealed he has hired a team of alternative medical experts, including a therapist who uses a mallet twice a year to realign bones and ligaments. "I have a good team behind me who help me to stay in good condition, including an orthomanual therapist who I call Jan-Jan the hammer man," said Kuyt of his Timmy Mallet friend. "He bangs with a hammer on the places where I have been kicked and puts all the bones, joints and ligaments back into place."

Kuyt also uses the services of a pedicurist, a faith healer and a haptonomy expert who helps him deal with any emotional turmoil. Given the season Liverpool are having, he must need plenty of the latter.

INDIAN ATHLETE CHANGES TRACK IN SEARCH OF GOLD

Finally, an uplifting tale from India. Milkha Singh, one of the country's greatest track athletes, has sold his life story to a film maker for one rupee (3p) in the hope that the biopic might inspire the youth of his country to excel in the sport. Nicknamed "the Flying Sikh", Milkha Singh was twice Asian Games champion in the 400m, Commonwealth champion in 1958 and narrowly missed out on a medal at his second Olympics in Tokyo in 1960. New Delhi hosts the Commonwealth Games in October but the hosts have little hope of any track titles.

"This is the year of the Commonwealth Games," said the 74-year-old, whose son Jeev is a top Asian golfer. "I feel sad to say that 52 years after I won a gold in the Cardiff Games, India hasn't been able to win a gold in track events."

Milkha Singh was born in what is now Pakistan and was witness to the murder of his parents during partition before making his escape to India as a refugee "I want Indian youth to understand what determination and purpose can achieve," said film director Rakeysh Omprakash.