Tom English: 'When even the supporters are diving, Hearts have a problem'

'Hearts' discipline, among the support and the players on the field, is atrocious'

ANSWER ME this: if a club like Motherwell can be awarded a place in Europe courtesy of their admirable performance in the fair play league – at the moment they look the likeliest winner – then how come a club like Hearts can't be punished for routinely finishing at the wrong end of that particular table?

Hearts are serial offenders. Off the pitch and on. Tynecastle has a siege-like mentality; its great strength and its great weakness. It is an intimidating place for opposing teams because it's populated by crazies, by half the cast of Shaun of the Dead. Okay, okay. That's an exaggeration. A third of the cast. A fair few of them gather in front of the press box , turn their backs to the pitch for chunks of a match and swear up at us for the afternoon. Frankly, these people should look for a discount on their season ticket because they're being charged for football they're not actually watching some of the time.

Nearly every visit – certainly every derby and every game against the Old Firm – is a reminder that as a club Hearts have more than their share of unreconstructed lunatics and they're breeding them younger and younger if Thursday night's Edinburgh slugfest is anything to go by.

A 16-year-old Hearts fan ran on to the pitch to have a go at Derek Riordan after the Hibs player scored the game's only goal. The video clip would be hilarious if it didn't raise so many weighty issues of security. The youngster screeches into view, waves his arms about and then throws himself on the floor claiming that Riordan decked him.

It's one of the finest examples of spectator simulation in the history of football. The guy is led away in a state of high indignation, holding his hand to his mouth and stemming the flow of the imaginary blood from the imaginary wound caused by the imaginary punch. When even the fans are diving, Hearts have a problem.

On top of that, there was the coin-throwing and the fact that suspended and injured Hibs players sitting in the main stand suffered so many verbals from the home fans that they had to be moved into a different area for their own safety.

Now, you know what some of the Hearts mob are going to say. They're going to say that Riordan was winding them up, that he had no business celebrating in front of them like that, with his smug grin and his badge-kissing. He provoked them. And, yeah, he did. He probably did it deliberately. He just scored a goal in a ground he most likely detests and for a few seconds he wound them up. So not only was he successful with his penalty, he also hit the jackpot in getting the Hearts fans into trouble. It was a double whammy for Riordan. A dream night.

Hearts' discipline, among the support and the players on the field, is atrocious. Once again they're at the top end of the foul play league. They have more red cards than any other SPL side this season. In the previous four seasons they were never out of the top four for reds and never out of the top three for yellow cards. They are the only side that routinely appear in these lists.

Of course, they suffer along the way. Players get suspended and such like. But if there is a greater reward for behaving yourself, as Motherwell look to benefit from, then perhaps there should be a greater punishment for those who seem incapable of doing so. Dock them money if they can't get their act together, dock them a few points if the rotten discipline carries on.

Because you know what? This doesn't just impact on Hearts. It could, potentially, hurt the league as a whole. Here's why: Uefa's Fair Play League gives access to the current Uefa Cup and it's successor next season, the Europa League. Each country is ranked for discipline in its domestic and international football. Uefa use five criteria. Respect for opponents, respect for match officials, behaviour of team officials, behaviour of the crowd and numbers of yellow and red cards.

The countries that finish in the top three each get a Europa League spot. Fair enough, you get stuck in at the preliminary stage which begins in the first week of July, but it's not to be sniffed at. It's European competition and it's something to look forward to. Thankfully for Scotland, their place in the top three was secured before the nutcase ran on to the pitch at Tynecastle. UEFA decide their three nations at the end of April.

Could he have knocked Scotland out of contention with his moment of stupidity? It's possible. An intrusion on to the pitch and an attempted assault of a player may be enough to take you right out of the top three. In this instance, a daft Hearts fan could have denied another Scottish team a place in Europe. On another day it could have been a daft Rangers or Celtic or Hibs fan. God knows, they all have form. But Tynecastle is worse than any of them.

Eight red cards have been shown there already this season, a whopping total for a single stadium. But it's not just any stadium. It is a place where the subs run for cover and the supporters take a dive to try and get their hate figures into trouble. For their own sake, Hearts need to get a grip. And for the sake of that valuable spot in Europe, the SPL need to make them.

THERE is a move afoot to bring back standing areas in football stadiums. Leading the way is Stephen Taylor, a Dunfermline fan and a member of the Pars Supporters Trust. He brought a petition, signed by 2,400 fans, to Holyrood last week and was received warmly. The MSPs seem on board with his vision.

I have a slight problem with those who want to bring back even small amounts of terracing. At the centre of their argument is the diminished atmosphere in football stadiums because everybody is sitting down. Yes, there are other issues on their agenda, such as the cost of seating, but mostly it's about the vibe, the reduced noise.

Taylor and his many backers cite all sorts of sound reasons for terracing but, again, ambience is a big part of what they are saying. And here's where they lose me. They are Dunfermline supporters. Their average attendance is little more than 3,000. Standing up isn't going to turn the place into the Maracana. If it's atmosphere they lack, try filling the place with fans and see how that works.