Sandy Strang: Bootsgate - Western District chief puts his foot down

The syntax is wonky, but the message unequivocal - it's Murphy's Law. Just when one thought the frenzied fall-out from the Bootsgate farrago had finally subsided, lo and behold, up stumps Western District Cricket Union secretary Jim Murphy with his League Management Committee's draconian edict: "The use of Adidas F50 football boots (or similar) is NOT ACCEPTABLE on the grounds of the West area.

No discussion, they must not be used." Note the capitals and the precise geographical parameters. Presumably east of Harthill licence may prevail. F50s aplenty in The Meadows. Adidas Rules at Grange Loan.

Never mind that the much maligned F50s, unlike the conventional cricket spike, is perfect on astroturf. Never mind that many grounds in the lower echelons of the West are more aligned to the jump than the flat season. Never mind that venerable Lord's itself has no specific objections. Renowned international umpire Mac Wylie has actually posed the question to HQ. But no, Murphy has spoken.

Now enter the fray one Bob Irvine, aka Fantasy Bob (FB), with his splendidly life-enhancing blog Casual Observations on Carlton, Cricket, Life and All That Other Stuff.

FB has produced his definitive guide to appropriate cricket footwear. There's a thumbs-up for "cricket shoes, other than those orange and blue things every second IPL player seems to have on his feet; training shoes (other than those naff retro Adidas ones; Astros (whatever they are!); and comfortable slippers, particularly recommended for the more mature members of the Fourth XI.

"Stilettos may be worn under the direct supervision of our doughty groundsman when the pitch is in need of scarifying - other than in the case of Ms Poonam Pandey who may wear, or not wear, anything she likes at any time. Finally, ballet shoes may be worn by the prima donnas in the side such as opening batsmen. PS: Players may also wish to note that our groundsman has a supply of clowns' shoes, which he will make available to batsmen in the light of the characteristics of their dismissal."

Lovely stuff, FB! Good on ya! The perfect antidote to humourless administrative apparatchiks! PS: I wore the offending F50s again in a match last week. Nobody noticed. Folk were properly more focused on the cricket.