Seven of Scottish football's worst kits
Aberdeen away, 1994-96
Dubbed the ‘vomit kit’ by Dons fans, this effort was Aberdeen’s change kit for two seasons, worn by the likes of Eoin Jess, Peter Hetherston and Paul Bernard. Drawing heavily on Aberdeen’s original colours of navy and old gold, there was nevertheless no excuse for this shirt which mirrored the home strip in design. It had a busy collar with the thin stripes but the bizarre patterns on each shoulder which seemed to dribble their way down the rest of the shirt explain why it earned its grim moniker.
Celtic away, 1989-91
This shirt hails from those halycon days when Celtic change kits weren’t just differing shades of green. Celtic first played in an all-yellow change kit in the 1970/71 season, but wore variations throughout the 1970s including yellow tops with green shorts, or all-yellow kits with green piping on the socks. After a six-year absence, the club played in away kits that married yellow shirts with green shorts between 1984 and 1988. But in 1989, the club decided to introduce this monstrosity. A paler yellow than previous away kits of the same colour, it also had stripes on the sleeves, cuffs and stomach and chevrons on the chest. The khaki green shorts did little to improve the overall look.
Dundee United away, 1993
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Hide AdThis bizarre marble / Jackson Pollock hybrid of an away kit was worn for just one season, in 1993, by the likes of Gordan Petric. It was teamed with black shorts with orange side panels and black socks with orange and white stripes. No word on whether wearing grey caused problems for the players a la Manchester United, but they haven’t worn grey since. Since 1993 United have, however, had away kits in white, black, red, green, fluorescent pink and black and white halves.
Hearts away, 2016/17
Hearts can normally be relied upon for a good, solid away kit. Sky blue, navy, white, stripes - even the Foundation of Hearts tribute kit. So it was a bit of a shock to see this vivid effort released in time for the 2016/17 season. The club claimed it was a tribute to legendary Hearts player Bobby Walker. Why? Because he had played for Scotland when they defeated England 5-1 in 1900 and had worn a similar kit because Honorary SFA president the 5th Earl of Rosebery had primrose and pink as his racing colours, and Scotland sometimes wore a similar kit in tribute. Tenuous? Yes. A valid reason for a kit likened to Mr Blobby and a Fruit Salad sweet? Barely.
Hibs away, 1999/00
Hibs, as we know, play in green shirts with white sleeves (primarily). Recent away kits have tended to be white or black, with bits of green piping. Simple enough, yes? However, like virtually ever other club in the dark days of Nineties football, Hibs had several away kits that could best be described as ‘interesting’. The purple and green striped away kit remains a retro favourite with fans but the all-lilac away kit and this fluorescent yellow number are among the worst. It looks suspiciously like a steward’s jacket and the obvious separation between the yellow and the black is painful on the eye.
Partick Thistle away, 2008/09
Arguably this should be the pink, grey and black camouflage effort but we’re exempting that from this list because it is bold. This is a club that introduced a freakish angry sun/Lisa Simpson hybrid as a mascot; they do not care for your opinions. However, they are not getting away with this change kit worn in the 2008/09 season. Partick’s colours are red and yellow and black. It’s perfectly possible to incorporate all of those colours in an away kit without needing to involve pale pink and watery grey. And certainly not in broad hoops.
Scotland away, 1991-93
Say what you want about Scotland’s strips in the Nineties but at least we were qualifying for major tournaments every now and then. Even if we were wearing abstract monstrosities like this one.