John Huggan: A game everybody loses

It has been, in so many ways, the match made in hell, between two men sadly lacking in off-course attributes one would ever wish to emulate. In the black corner sat the despicable Steve Williams. In the off-white corner was the disgraced Tiger Woods. In the middle has been a mere game, one that brought fame and riches almost beyond measure to Woods, and to Williams a lifestyle far in excess of anything his apparently non-existent IQ could have hoped to provide.

What a pair, eh?

Over the last week or so, these two “Ws” (choose your own punch-line) have treated us to two equally unedifying spectacles. First off his stool was the despicable one. Reminding the world of golf’s somewhat sketchy past in matters racial, the man many seem to think is the game’s best caddie publicly labelled his erstwhile employer a “black arsehole”. Bad enough. But that indiscretion was followed by the distasteful and laughable sight of Woods clambering out of his self-inflicted dark hole and unbelievably – given his well-documented extra-marital sexual shenanigans – claiming the moral high ground in this battle between bigot and bawdy.

Still, what was truly amusing were the touching sights and sounds that followed the pair’s first “post-arsehole” meeting in the gym of Woods’ Sydney hotel. Magnanimous and conciliatory in turn, the – lest we forget – 14-time major champion was quick to assure an expectant world that “Stevie is not a racist”. Which was important, of course. Had Woods left the impression that he, the wee soul, is enduring some lasting pain from the sting of Williams’ slur, the bag-carrying career of the despicable Kiwi would surely have been all but over.

But there was none of that. By implicitly declaring himself the arbiter of all things prejudiced and clearing his former employee of such a charge, Woods made both of them look good. He was the forgiving soul capable of rising above a gratuitous insult based on his skin colour; Williams became the misunderstood dope who had simply spoken out of turn and told what turned out to be an unfortunate joke.

This flawed version of reality was actually backed up by Greg Norman – for whom Williams caddied back in the 1980s. According to the Great White Shark, “heavier” things were said during the fateful caddie awards dinner in China. That such verbal outpourings did not occur – not even close – is supported by more than one eyewitness, a status Norman cannot claim.

What was left unsaid, of course, is that Woods, in reality, had little option other than to exonerate Williams. Had he failed to do so and left the world’s most famous luggage handler dangling in the winds of public disapproval, the cold spectre of revenge would have hung over the 58th best golfer on the planet.

Given that the pair spent as much time together as they did during their more than 12 years in partnership, it is safe to assume that Williams has a few tales to tell about just what went on in the private life of the notoriously secretive Woods. So forget the notion that Tiger spared his former pal because it was a) simply the right thing to do or b) an uncharacteristic act of charity. This was – as is always the way with Woods – all about self-interest or, in this case, self-preservation.

Just as outwardly surprising was the decision of the International Federation of Tours – the organisation ostensibly behind the HSBC World Golf Championship at which Williams first inserted foot into mouth – to chastise the errant bagman but leave him free to go about his business. But again, there is a simple explanation.

The IFT is – to an unhealthy extent – controlled by America’s PGA Tour, the world’s biggest, richest and so most powerful circuit. In turn, commissioner Tim Finchem is the man in charge of the PGA Tour. Finchem normally operates a policy of non-disclosure when it comes to suspensions or fines imposed on those under his omniscient jurisdiction. When, for example, South African Rory Sabbatini was suspended for what appeared to be a couple of months earlier this season, the only evidence was the disappearance of the voluble Springbok. Nothing official was ever said by way of explanation.

But this was different. Along with European Tour executive director George O’Grady – who had no authority over Williams because his employer, Adam Scott, is not an ET member – Finchem released a statement that called the caddie’s outburst “entirely unacceptable in whatever context”. But, wouldn’t you know, Williams’ subsequent apology was then deemed to be enough for the IFT to “consider the matter closed”.

For long-time Finchem watchers, this represented an extraordinary state of affairs. Not only had the head of the PGA Tour broken his own credo and commented on a disciplinary matter, he revealed the punishment passed down from on high – in this case, admonition. But what those “wee Timmy” spectators initially overlooked was Finchem’s deep-seated and long-held mistrust of, and contempt for, the media. There was no way that he was going to let the court of public opinion – led by a press corps in full cry – convict someone subject to his rules and regulations. Oh no.

So Williams, although obviously guilty of breaking PGA Tour diktats relating to the public bad-mouthing of members, was deemed innocent of all charges.

Less happy in the wake of all that has occurred is the close-knit band of tour caddies Williams has largely ignored for more than a decade. Think about it. Here we have the man who is widely held to be the leading practitioner in their admittedly limited profession being exposed as, well, little more than a bumbling buffoon. So, by extension, those lower down the caddie ladder are presumably even more incompetent and/or ignorant when not lugging a bag full of sticks around a big field. Not that such a situation actually represents reality, but it is a thought that has surely crossed the minds of those less than familiar with golf on tour.

“Don’t think that we haven’t been aware of the implications of all this,” said one less-than-impressed caddie earlier this week. “We have enough trouble getting past the out-dated but still prevalent image most people have of caddies. To many we are nothing more than scruffy, hard-drinking individuals who sleep more often than not in bushes.

“Steve saying what he did only adds to that sort of perception. Not only are we down-and-outs, we are now seen as prejudiced against black people too.”

Perhaps the most disturbing aspect of this distasteful affair – one that did nothing to dispel the widely-held notion that golf is populated by a bunch of Neanderthals – is that Williams still doesn’t appear to fully appreciate the wider implications of his words.

Two days after the annual caddie awards dinner in China, where he gave his fateful interview, Williams spoke to Newstalk ZB Radio in his native New Zealand.

“It was a fun sort of thing and everyone laughed their heads off,” he claimed. “So, I mean, what you read is absolutely ridiculous.”

He just doesn’t get it, does he? Despicable to the end.