No amount of watching improves my golf game

THERE’S nothing quite like a trip to Augusta National to put a spring in your step heading to the first tee for a Wednesday medal at your local club.

The 15th hole at Augusta National Golf Club. Picture: Getty

Add in the stunning view towards Edinburgh from the course at Aberdour on a fine spring morning and, just over 24 hours after returning from The Masters, I could not wait to get going and see if I had learned anything from my spell watching Bubba and the boys.

Alas, I found out a lot sooner than I’d have liked that the ­answer was an emphatic “no”.

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Put it this way, the two shanks into gorse bushes from the first tee, a fresh-air shot close to the wall that I’d almost put the third effort over and a resultant 10 wasn’t what I’d been hoping for!

“What do you do for a ­living then?” asked one of my ­playing partners after I had then knocked one into the Firth of Forth from the second tee and I almost felt too embarrassed to answer. In battling my way home in 38, I felt I’d just about managed to salvage some pride, only for it to be dented again back on that first tee for another medal outing on Saturday.

Another shank! I just knew it was going to happen even though I can’t remember the last one I’d hit before that ­damaging brace a few days ­earlier. And, though I managed to escape with a 5 this time, the 9 that went down on the card at the third – without a single penalty in it – meant it was another grind and another 0.1 added to the handicap.

This gowf really can be a frustrating game.

It’s also why we love it, though.