Your shout: 'R' is for real rank rubbish but never relegation

CRAIG Brown may have refused to mention the R word – relegation – since becoming Aberdeen manager, but that did not stop literally thousands of you using it when you phoned me on the hotline after full-time in yesterday's SPL games. Well, literally three of you, if you or the Press Complaints Commission want to be all sniffy and pedantic about the correct meaning of words, but you know what I mean.

In fact, Hibees fan Rita Robertson is so concerned with R words that she now uses as many as she can, if her call was anything to go by. "Real rank rubbish," she enthused after seeing her side go down 2-1 to the Dons. "Reinforcements really required, right?" So how would Rita sum up her team's form right now? "Right rotten," she quipped quick as a flash.

No saving graces at all? "Riordan. Rankin. Rotherspoon."

It was after the win at Easter Road that Brown explained he had banished all talk of demotion, but supporters of other clubs do not all hope the former Scotland manager keeps his new club up. Latching on to the theme of SPL reconstruction that dominated last week in Scottish football, Tam from Tayside had a radical suggestion.

"You know how teams in trouble get all pious and say 'We're not too good to go down'? I reckon we should take them at their word and say they're too bad to stay up. So let's bring reconstruction forward and relegate Hamilton, Aberdeen, Hibs and St Mirren this season. And tell St Johnstone they're on their last warning."

That seems a bit harsh on the Perth team – and on the Buddies after their fine win in the Highlands yesterday. And anyway, Tam, Dundee United are only a point clear of St Johnstone, so why not send them down too?

If they lose to Hibs in midweek they could start to feel the chill, just as the rest of the country starts to warm up.

Speaking of United, their chairman Stephen Thompson has come in for some flak after suggesting play-offs for the title last week. Willie from Killie reckoned the SPL shouldn't stop there.

"If we have play-offs at the end of the season, why not introduce other random factors?" he asked. "For example, clubs could play a joker in certain games and get double points for winning. Or we could try attaching keepers to the back of the net with a stout length of elastic. Then they couldn't rush out so quickly."

Great idea, Willie. But I think those Old Firm killjoys might veto it.