Willie Collum: The loneliness of the man in the middle

Top referee opens up on living with abuse and media scrutiny

It is a vocation which has taken Willie Collum around Europe, often sharing pitches with the finest players in the world at some of the greatest stadiums.

But for all of the joy and satisfaction which comes from refereeing Lionel Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo, life as the man in the middle also comes with a darker side which Collum admits he has often struggled to deal with.

Since taking charge of his first senior match back in 2004, a Third Division encounter between Queen’s Park and Cowdenbeath at a sparsely populated Hampden, the 41-year-old has come a long way in what can be a brutally unforgiving environment. But his place on both the Fifa and Uefa lists of leading referees has not been earned without considerable anxiety and soul-searching amid the maelstrom of criticism and abuse he has been faced with.

“It can be very lonely,” reflects Collum. “Yes, we have colleagues we can turn to but it can often be your wife that you turn to on a Saturday night.

“I never came into refereeing to be in the media spotlight. I don’t think referees should have a profile where it’s some kind of celebrity status. That’s up to the players and managers as they are the entertainers. Referees are there to do a job.

“I’ve had some difficult times and you worry about the negative effect it has on your own well-being and the well-being of my family.

“There are times you come home after a game and it’s a waiting game for four or five hours to find a clip on Wyscout to see if you have been right or not with a decision. It can make for a long night of tension.

“Other times, you know things are fine and you don’t need to hide behind the couch and you can relax with your family and enjoy being forced into watching the Saturday night telly.”

Speaking to The Lockdown Tactics podcast hosted by former Scotland internationals Kris Boyd, left, and Robert Snodgrass, right, Collum expressed his irritation at the reaction of some supporters to errors by referees and the accusations of bias against a particular team.

“When mistakes happen, there isn’t much forgiveness in society,” he added. “We don’t make mistakes deliberately. There is nothing worse for me than coming in on a Saturday night knowing I’ve made a mistake.

“Anybody who thinks we are out to deceive a team are kidding themselves on. We don’t work hard all week, make the sacrifices we do, to try and make a deliberate decision against someone.

“A mistake can then lead it to being blown out of proportion in the media. We are under pressure and we are trying our very best.

“There needs to be an acceptance that we are ordinary people, with families. It worries me when I see referees receiving threats.

“Some of the abuse we are subjected to in stadiums isn’t right. When it becomes personal it’s a worry. We need to respect people in the public spotlight. We have families and also need to hold down a full-time job (outside football).”

Collum regards the highlight of his refereeing career so far as his appearance at the Euro 2016 finals in France when he took charge of two matches, including the host nation’s fixture against Albania.

But he revealed he almost quit refereeing before that tournament because of the fall-out from his display in a Championship match between Falkirk and Rangers in December 2015 when he incorrectly awarded a penalty against the Ibrox side for a foul which clearly took place outside the box.

“Refereeing is about confidence,” says Collum. “It’s like strikers. If you are feeling good, you think you are going to make the right decisions. But if you are going through a tough spell, then you worry about your next game.

“My thoughts then become ‘just get through this 90 minutes and try to get everything right’. Otherwise it’s a snowball effect.

“Let me give you an example. In late 2015 I was appointed to the list for Euro 2016 to represent Scotland, probably the highlight of my career.

“The following Saturday I was refereeing Falkirk v Rangers on live telly and it was not a good performance. There was a wrong penalty awarded for a handball and a penalty awarded incorrectly when the foul was outside the box.

“I knew people would slaughter me. There was a snowball effect as I went on a run of three or four games when things didn’t go well.

“It was a really difficult period and the SFA made the decision to bring me out of the spotlight for a period. There was an online petition about me and thousands of people signed it for me to never referee again.

“Every single day, every single night, that was on my mind. Nothing else. I remember thinking if I should come out and speak in the media about how it was affecting me.

“That whole period affected my well-being and the well-being of my family. But that was a time I was very close to giving up and my wife wanted me to finish.

“When I got on the plane to go to Euro 2016 I was really proud because I was representing Scotland. But my underlying thought was ‘don’t make a mess of this, don’t come back and embarrass yourself’. I had two games and came back intact. I came back feeling more determined than ever to succeed.”

Collum is a firm advocate of VAR and is hopeful it will be introduced in Scottish football to assist him and his colleagues.

“We have brought in VAR in the Champions League and World Cup because there is an acceptance that mistakes will be made even at the very highest level,” he said. “We know mistakes will happen and it’s there to help referees get it right.

“If there is a clear error then it is rectified there and then. I can’t tell you how important that is for the game. And how important that is for the referee’s well-being.

“I’d still beat myself up on a Monday morning if I made a really bad decision. I’d still be devastated if I missed a really bad, over the ball, two-footed tackle.

“But I’d leave the stadium at 5.30 knowing I’ve had the opportunity to fix that decision. I’m not going to be talked about in the media for a week or two because the problem is solved there and then.”

A secondary school teacher by profession, Collum believes the focus on mental health and wellbeing promoted during the current coronavirus pandemic lockdown offers a message which football should heed.

“In my job in education, I have met people during lockdown who are in some real difficulty just now,” he said.

“My heart goes out to them because they don’t know if they are going to be able to provide a meal for their kids the following day.

“We are all really good at declaring the message and talking about support networks and ‘come and speak to me if you are struggling’, but we need to put our money where our mouth is.

“We really need to mean that and the way that we treat people, what we write about people and what we say about people. It’s all well and good saying it and talking a good game, but then three or four tweets later or three or four hours later speaking in the media, you are already having a negative effect on a person’s mental health.

“We need to follow through, whether you are in sport or another walk of life, think about how you are acting and what you are saying about people. And ask yourself ‘Am I being genuine?’ ‘Am I really trying to be supportive?’

“I just think that nobody has a right in society to take away someone’s peace of mind and we all need to reflect on that.”

The Lockdown Tactics is a brand new podcast, hosted by former Scotland stars Robert Snodgrass and Kris Boyd. Every week TLT will interview big names with the core focus being on Mental Health and Well-being. It’s chosen charity partner is The Kris Boyd Charity. To watch the full interview with Willie, go to YouTube and the various TLT social platforms. It will be available from 4pm today

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