The Scottish football Christmas select XI

Sleigh Griffiths with a young fan. Picture: SNS

GK - Cammy Jingle Bell

The sicknote Rangers ‘keeper may want a Wes Foderingham voodoo doll in his stocking this year.

DR - Mark Ho-Ho-Ho’Hara

DC - Alim Ozturk-ey

DC - Josh Three-Kings

DL - Jesus Garcia Tena

Meekings will have a hand in the cooking, while Ozturk can only find the oven from 40 yards.

DM - Jim Peace and Goodwin To All Men

DM - Prince Bauble

Goodwin’s name has to be the most ironic on this list.

MR - Billy Stoc-King

MC - Kris-mas Commons

ML - Osman Snow

Sow’s ambitions to play in England have left Hearts fans cold, while Commons may be carrying a little ‘holiday weight’ when Celtic travel to Tynecastle on Sunday.

FC - Sleigh Griffiths

He’ll need one for all the presents for the little ones.

Subs bench: Kevin McHolly, Kieran Tree-ney, Fraser Christmas C-Aird, Sant-any Stokes, Jonathan Franks-incense

Notable mentions: Brussel Anderson, Virgin Van Dijk, Danny Manger, Darren Rudolph, Evander snow, LuboMyrrh Moravcik, Rudolf Skacel

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