Changing room chat: Ball-tampering taken very seriously

FURTHER to our report in yesterday’s Changing Room Chat about the imminent appearance of veteran funnyman Bobby Ball in Scotland, we regret to admit that the joke is now on us.

It was not Mr Ball who accompanied former Celtic player John Kennedy at the Tesco Bank Football Challenge in Glasgow, but another character of a very similar name.

Bobby The Ball is the name of the mascot who turned up. He is a giant blow-up football on legs. Wherever he goes his minders have to ensure there are double doors, otherwise he cannot get through. Until yesterday he was known simply as Bobby Ball, but in order to avoid further confusion he has been given a new middle name. One he shares with Winnie The Pooh and Zorba The Greek, among others.

We apologise to any readers who are disappointed by the non-appearance of the legendary Mr Ball, and can assure you that we found Mr The Ball an unconvincing substitute.

We also apologise to Hearts fans who presume this error was a deliberate wheeze to allow gratuitous reference to Bobby Ball lookalike Albert Kidd – a mascot of another kind, for those of green-and-white persuasion.