Alastair Kellock: ‘Gutted’ doesn’t begin to sum up disappointment

This is where the words I wrote in last week’s Scotsman, about how this game is about the entire squad and not only about those in the team, have to hold some truth. Andy Robinson took me aside on Monday and told me I was out. I knew he wanted to speak to me and hoped it would be about plans for Argentina, but he didn’t beat about the bush. He said “I’m not going to involve you this week”, and in that moment the ground could have opened up. I want to say I was gutted, but that doesn’t do justice to the feelings you experience at that moment. Readers know how passionate I am about wearing the jersey.

But at the same time this is not the first of these conversations I have had in my career, and one thing I have learned is not to walk away from it leaving things unsaid. He told me that this was the team he wanted to play against Argentina and that he could make an argument for each of the 28 available players to be involved.

I believe I could do the job against Argentina, but the coach makes the ultimate decision and I back him. Jim Hamilton had a very good game against Georgia and Andy explained that Richie Gray offered the balance he wanted for this game. So, it was less about what I had done wrong and more about what they had done right, and if you’re going to be dropped that’s probably the best way.

We had a day off on Tuesday and so I got my head right then for what I had to do for the rest of the week, and the focus was on making sure I left my disappointments behind and showed the same leadership that I would if in the team. There were another seven players desperate to play who are not involved, and Scott Lawson, who is coming back from a cruelly-timed injury. And so the mindset since Tuesday has been very much on the positive. This is not about me, or any individuals. This is professional sport and very few players go through their careers without being dropped; you have to deal with it, and use it as motivation to improve.

I have worked closely with Jim [Hamilton] this week, trying to find the right balance between supporting him and leaving him to get on with it, and let him lead. It has been similar with Rory Lawson. He is a good player and a good captain, and I am right behind him. This is a really good, tight squad, which I’m pleased about. Dan Parks was the first to go to Ruaridh Jackson and congratulate him on being selected, and it is easy to underestimate how much that helps the confidence of the players picked.

Tomorrow will be a great occasion and the guys that run out into the “Cake Tin” know this selection was very close and that competition is great for pushing guys to perform at their best.

Yesterday we had the chance to get away from it all in the afternoon and I went sailing with a few of the boys. Myself and Dominic [McKay, SRU director of communications] stayed on for the race and won it, so, hopefully, that is a good omen.

I also met the two great supporters and ex-policemen Norrie Flowers and Sandy Geddes. They are great guys and I apologised to Norrie for us saying last week that they were two Scots, as Norrie is Welsh, but today he was wearing his familiar kilt with a USA top so I think he’s a bit confused. My parents also arrived yesterday so I’m looking forward to catching up with them.

But the focus for us all is on Argentina. We have worked very hard this week to provide good opposition in training and the boys are really coming together. It is a very good team selected. Physically the boys are right, mentally they know it’s a massive game and what it will take to win, and while it will be a difficult game I know that we are good enough to beat Argentina tomorrow.

This will be different to the ones we enjoyed in 2010, two teams who have developed their game and had more preparation, but while the Pumas see this as do-or-die for them we are convinced that we need to win this one too, and head to Auckland in the best possible shape. There is a lot more rugby to come in this World Cup yet.

lScottish Rugby and RBS, principal partner of Scottish Rugby, will be hosting a live interview with members of the Scotland squad at 9pm UK time tomorrow evening on the RBS Rugby facebook page. Log on to: