Aidan Smith: Rangers didn't just park the bus, they parked the entire fleet

On Tuesday we were pre another Champions League. "Wonderful, marvellous, the greatest competition in the world," purred Fergie. He was talking up the first group match in front of the sponsors' board but we savoured his words as if he'd unlocked the secret of life's inner meaning. Then he signed off with his customary "Well done" to his grand inquisitor, strolled to the dugout, a wave here and an autograph there, and settled down to watch ...

Well, what was that? Man U reserves plus England's fallen idol and Scotland's captain versus the anti-football specialists? The future of the greatest club side in the world versus our doughty representatives, defending as if their lives depended on it and turning row Z-ing into an art form? Hmm. It certainly wasn't the Battle of Britain, as billed. It definitely wasn't one of those "big European nights" that Sir Alex Ferguson so cherishes.

It was all that was wrong with the Champions League. A tournament that rarely lives up to the hype. A contest that doesn't get serious, or even interesting, until March. A goose that was laying golden eggs just fine until UEFA, in their foolishness and greed, decided to stretch its neck. But it's easy to blame the organisers. What of Tuesday's participants?

Man U will argue they at least tried to attack, to score goals and to win - that Rangers didn't really have designs on these things. Afterwards Walter Smith offered up an eloquent defence of his hard-up club's tactics, pointing out that, as with England's Premiership, only the super-rich few can win the Champions League. So Rangers have to park the bus.

What a quaint phrase. Who coined it? Noel Coward, I think, when he was summarising an Anderlecht-Panathinaikos group match a couple of years ago. Another phrase popular among the likes of Coward and Alan McInally is: "Such-and-such set out their stall."

When we first heard that one - perhaps back when Smith would argue the Champions League was more of a level playing-field - we were in no doubt that it involved a statement of defensive intent, but the statement bit was key: as if the team were handing out pamphlets warning of 90 minutes of pinch-faced parsimony from a basic wooden shack - the aforementioned stall.

Now, when their frustrated opponents talk of a stall being set out - and both Fergie and Rio Ferdinand used the phrase on Tuesday - we imagine the structure having been dragged into the centre circle to stand next to the bus, with a "Back in 90 mins" sign in the window. This was how Rangers played the game at Old Trafford. Actually, there was more.

There was a stall and a bus.There were all the wee blue cars for the disabled which used to ring Ibrox. There was the entire fleet belonging to Ian Skelly, the former car king and Rangers director who used to advertise heavily in the club's match programme, back when I pored over every detail. There was the coal lorry from the 1972 Cup-Winners' Cup celebrations. And stationed right out front, similar to the Popemobile but - ha ha - not that similar, was Smith's Wattymobile.

The Wattymobile is on its farewell tour of Europe and continental competition. No-one is criticising him overmuch for Tuesday, and certainly not Sir Alex, although if Smith hadn't been a friend, I'm sure Fergie would have let rip. I accept his defence of his team's defensiveness, but only up to a point. His strategy was based on Man U putting out their strongest 11, a line-up respectful of "the greatest competition in the world". But when he saw the teamsheet and who was missing, why didn't he take a chance and go bolder?

I can't believe, despite his inherent caution, that he's not regretting this now. A win in what was potentially their most difficult fixture could have set them up for qualification. God knows, Rangers are difficult to love but I'll always want them to beat an English team. There's the return to come, of course, and he must be more progressive. Doesn't he want to be parading in the Wattymobile, kissing babies?