CNN makes a deadly mistake

MARK Twain said "reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated", long before CNN was around to hear the quote that is now on the lips of a host of celebrities the network killed off yesterday.

CNN inadvertently broadcast a series of pre-prepared obituaries of world figures, who have not departed this mortal coil.

The United States network, which prides itself on staying ahead, got too far ahead by announcing on the internet that the Pope, Fidel Castro, Bob Hope, Nelson Mandela, Dick Cheney and Ronald Reagan had perished in what looked like a celebrity cull. The obituaries were removed after just 20 minutes, but not before thousands had logged on to the gaffe.

However, the not-quite-dead celebrities can take comfort - CNN had nice things to say about them.

Mr Cheney was credited with being the real power in the US: "[He] brought such a wealth of experience and credentials to his job that some of the administration’s detractors implied he was the real power behind the throne of the Bush presidency."

Mr Reagan was praised "for achieving everything". It concluded: "For much of [his] life, the words next to his high-school yearbook photo rang true; lifeguard, athlete, movie star, governor, president."

Bob Hope’s admirers were "holding on to his memory". "Bob Hope was the definition of entertainment for millions throughout the 20th century," said CNN.

An industry source explained: "Everyone knows obituaries are prepared in advance, but to publish them is serious and someone is going to get into trouble."

CNN apologised, and hinted that reports of the demise of the person responsible for the gaffe had not been exaggerated.