Revealed: Your 'perfect moment' of the day will be at precisely 8:44pm

IT HAS been dubbed the "perfect moment", when the washing up has been done, the children are in bed and couples can finally sit down and relax at the end of the day. And it comes at precisely 8.44pm, research has found.

The study of 3,000 people found the average couple settles down together at 8.05pm – but it takes a further 39 minutes to unwind and forget about the stresses and strains of the working day.

The pressures of long working hours and domestic tasks also mean married couples are spending less than 75 minutes of quality time together, according to the study.

The gruelling work and domestic schedules of modern life are fuelling high divorce rates, psychologists and counsellors have said.

Professor Cary Cooper, organisational psychology and health expert at Lancaster University Management School, said the findings are not surprising.

"This is normal, I mean it's abnormal, but normal in the our society, which has the longest working hours in Europe.

"The impact of this on quality of life is poor. When do you fit in personal, disposable time to focus on your relationship?

"The results is that couples are engaging in tactical talk – such as who will pick up the kids or who will have the car – and not emotional talk. This leads to separations, break-ups and divorce."

The study also shows that there are distinct differences between the ways men and women wind down after work.

Six in ten women will prepare the evening meal, compared to just a third of men – and four in ten women then do the dishes or put the washing on.

Women also take more responsibility for house administration – such as arranging school dinner money, filling out forms and checking mail. Men are more likely to help the children with homework – 17 per cent of fathers compared to 13 per cent of mothers – because women are busy with the housework.

Seven in ten women do more around the house than men, and 66 per cent of men admit they might relax earlier than their partner.

Veronica Hansmann, a counsellor and psychotherapist based in Dunblane, said working long hours and an unfair division of household chores can create tensions in relationships.

"It depends on the couple," she said. "In many cases household chores are evenly distributed between couples. What's more important is communicating.

"It can depend on how you talk about the practical things. It's not always about what you talk about but how – if you really communicate with each other or if you talk like robots."

Ms Hansmann said she advises couples to spend at least one night a week doing something together.

The poll also showed popular ways to relax include having sex (22 per cent), surfing the internet (28 per cent) and catching up on Facebook (21 per cent).

A third of people described their perfect moment as sinking into a hot bath, while 35 per cent say you can't beat putting your feet up in front of a good film.

Sarah Pace, brand manager for Three Barrels which commissioned the survey, said: "Even the happiest couples rarely enjoy quality time together by the sheer nature of their day-to-day life."