Married love is best, say women

THE notion that young single people have the best sex life has been challenged by a major new survey that shows married couples are far more likely to reach the heights of sexual fulfilment.

Two-thirds of all married women said the "best sex they’ve ever had is within marriage" (64 per cent) and only 13 per cent when they were single, 14 per cent when living with their partner and 9 per cent when having an affair.

Great sex can also last forever in a long-term relationship, according to the National Sex and Relationship Survey 2002, commissioned by health and beauty magazine Top Sante.

Two-thirds of women (65 per cent) insisted "sex never goes off the boil" with the right man and 70 per cent of women with a long-term partner said they "still find him exciting in bed". The concept of the seven year itch is also challenged. Even after 14 years of marriage, 63 per cent of women still fancy their husband "just as much as when they first met him", 62 per cent still feel "head over heels in-love" with him and 32 per cent still "love him". Just 6 per cent have fallen out of love and lust.

"This survey turns on its head the idea that the best sex is when we are footloose, fancy free and single," said Juliette Kellow, editor of Top Sante.

"The truth is, truly great sex and deep intimacy are most likely to happen within the trusting, committed environment of marriage or a long-term relationship."

However, an overwhelming 83 per cent of all women said what they want most from a relationship is "love, affection and hugs", with only 24 per cent rating sex and passion as equally important.

In fact, six out of ten women admit their partner is more interested in sex than they are, but they still have sex an average of nine times a month.

Fidelity is the key to relationship success; 95 per cent of women think it is important in a long-term relationship and 82 per cent think it’s possible to stay faithful forever.

Many women blame television for trying to destroy the idea of marriage. More than three-quarters think living in a sex-obsessed society is causing relationships to break down and 74 per cent think TV gives out the message that infidelity is the norm. Eastenders is named the number one marriage wrecker, followed by Sex And The City, Trisha and Jerry Springer.

Ms Kellow said: "Even though popular TV programmes focus on dysfunctional relationships, most women crave the love and companionship of one soul mate. Idyllic celebrity marriages like Posh and Becks and Catherine Zeta Jones and Michael Douglas are also an inspiration to the younger generation."

Denise Knowles, a relationship counsellor, said: "This survey shows how important marriage and secure long-term relationships are to women. Sex in a secure and loving relationship is relaxed and enhances the relationship. Only when there’s good communication can a couple feel safe enough."

Three-quarters of all married women say "marriage lives up to their expectations" (75 per cent) and 82 per cent think they married "the right man".

The results should be seen in the context of couples now marrying at an older age. The average age of marriage in the UK is now 35 for men and 32 for women, compared with 28 and 26 a decade ago.

A regional breakdown of the survey of 2000 females showed that women in Scotland have more sex than women elsewhere (11 times a month, UK average 9). The world’s most famous sex survey remains the Kinsey report of 1948 which claimed, among other things, that women enjoyed sex as much as men, and that four out of 10 men had had homosexual experiences.

More sex please, we’re Scottish

MORE than 60 per cent of Scottish women would prefer sex with their partner to going on a shopping spree, a girls’ night out or eating chocolate.

Scottish women are the most faithful, and the most sexually active, in the UK.

Yorkshire women are most likely to be unfaithful.

76 per cent of British women think British men make good lovers.

83 per cent of women say they fell in love with their partner; 16 per cent married for lust.

63 per cent of women still fancy their husbands, long past the seven-year itch.

83 per cent of all women want love, affection and hugs, with just 24 per cent rating sex and passion as equally important.

16 per cent of women say they have been unfaithful at some stage and have had an average of two affairs. Only 27 per cent of these women say their partner found out.

76 per cent of women think their partner is a "great lover".

95 per cent of women think fidelity is important in a long-term relationship, but 53 per cent admit they flirt.