A 'spoiled' ballot and dodgy political tactics

POLITICAL cronyism, grubby alliances huckstered for short-term gain and a debatable result. This was not the Scottish elections, however, but that annual three-hour assault on good taste - the Eurovision Song Contest.

The event - which reaches a global TV audience of 100 million - has routinely seen friendly countries back each other, regardless of musical merit. But that tendency was elevated to new heights on Saturday as eastern European states clustered to take 14 out of the top 16 places, elbowing Ireland, the UK, France, Spain and Germany into the relegation zone. It was compared to the musical equivalent of the Warsaw Pact.

The top and bottom three rankings underlined the trend. Serbia's Marija Serifovic coasted to victory ahead of 23 other entrants on 268 points. Ukrainian drag queen Verka Serduchka - a singing transsexual is now almost compulsory in Eurovision - came in second with 235 votes, while Russian girl group Serebro were third on 207 votes.

Radio phone-ins and internet message boards were yesterday inundated with calls denouncing the current voting system as a farce and demanding it be reorganised. Some even called for the event to be split into separate competitions for east and western Europe.

Some UK viewers were affronted by the use of block votes. One message board author wrote: "It is the worst block voting I've ever seen in this contest... even the rest of Europe have now realised this block voting completely spoiled the show."

France finished with 19 points as did the UK, whose air steward act Scooch and song Flying the Flag never left the runway. Irish entrants Dervish were only saved from the ultimate Eurovision ignominy - "nul points" - by the donation of five points from Albania.

Eurovision has become a kind of high camp farce for some UK viewers, with themed parties thrown across the country to celebrate its kitsch awfulness.

However, eastern Europe takes the event more seriously. Finland, host of this year's competition, was geographically handy for eastern Europeans and some made the trip to Helsinki's main hockey stadium to join the 9,000-strong audience. Others joined the 25,000 who braved plunging Helsinki temperatures to watch on large screens outside.

The voting pattern on the night would have done credit to an old-style Soviet election. Ukraine seemed happy to overlook old grudges and ongoing rows with Russia, awarding it a near-full ten points. Russia and Kremlin-friendly neighbour Belarus engaged in a love-in, awarding each other the maximum 12 points. Serbia gave the former Yugoslav republic of Macedonia ten points, the Macedonians responded with the full 12. Hungary and Serbia formed a private fan club with 12 points all round. And so it went, with mutual bouquets flying between eastern European states.

The UK was saved from a debacle only with help from Ireland and Malta, an old ally from the Second World War.

Nick Weinberg, from Ladbrokes, said: "I doubt whether even Elton John could win Eurovision for the UK, given the political nature of the voting."

Some UK punters chose to back Scooch as 25-1 outsiders. However, even more bets were placed on Scooch coming last or receiving no points at all.

Weinberg said the rigged nature of voting did not mean bad business for the bookies. "It's not like [punters] go into it with their eyes shut. They know that some countries are, barring an absolute catastrophe, going to receive the backing from certain others."

UK bookies say seasoned gamblers now try to beat the odds by spotting an Eastern Bloc or Scandinavian nation which can assume support from its neighbours but which also starts the event with a good price. This year, much of the UK's betting spend went on Ukraine - eastern European but without too many enemies.

Members of Scooch were philosophical. Singer Caroline Barnes said: "I laughed so much I cried at the voting. I don't want to say it was expected, but you know what Eurovision is like."

For Serbia - making its first Eurovision appearance as an independent nation after Serbia-Montenegro split last year - the result sent the nation into convulsions. Thousands took to the streets of Belgrade and other cities throughout the night to celebrate Marija Serifovic's victory.

The Serbian president, Boris Tadic, told the singer: "Congratulations. Serbia is very proud and celebrates your success."

Adrian Monck, a media analyst, said: "In the west, we're interested in Eurovision for post-modern ironic reasons. The eastern Europeans have yet to go through the ironic stage - there is a certain cheese factor with Eurovision that doesn't play there."

However, Serifovic and her five female backing singers have already acquired one hallmark of classic Eurovision status - by being acclaimed as gay icons. Serbia's tiny gay community - unpopular in the deeply conservative Orthodox Christian country - embraced their country's all-girl winning act as an example of lesbian chic.

"A big win for Serbia, a small step for gay rights," sighed one partygoer, leaving Belgrade's only gay-friendly club.

VOTE OF NO CONFIDENCE AS OLD PALS ACT MAKES A COMPLETE MOCKERY OF SHOWPIECE EVENT

A TOTAL of 42 nations voted for 24 finalists in Eurovision. With a choice of no points to the maximum 12, the voting pattern shows eastern Europe was in it to win it with mutually supportive scoring.

• Serbia got the full score from five of its eastern European neighbours: Bosnia & Herzegovina, Croatia, Macedonia, Montenegro and Slovenia.

• Hungary also gave Serbia 12 points, and Serbia was able to repay the debt with 12 for Hungary.

• Russia and Belarus - neighbours both geographically and ideologically - awarded each other 12 points.

• The Baltic states rallied to each other's cause. Finalists Latvia and Lithuania gave each other ten points. Estonia, not in the final 24, gave the full 12 to neighbour Russia and a cosy ten to Latvia.

• The Scandinavian countries also kept it in the family. Norway, not a finalist, gave 12 points to Sweden. Meanwhile, Sweden gave its full 12 points to fellow finalists Finland.

• Ireland - historically one of the most successful Eurovision entrants - was saved from humiliation by five points from Albania. The UK was bailed out by Malta and Ireland to get its 19 points.

• There was only lukewarm evidence of brotherly love among the western European nations. Finalist Spain got only eight points from Portugal, but 12 from Albania. Neighbours Germany and France - both finalists - gave each other zero points.

• Some Eurovision favourites lost out in last Thursday's semi-finals. They included Danish drag artist Drama Queen and Israeli band the Teapacks, whose entry Push the Button was claimed to make references to Iran's nuclear ambitions.