A letter to my husband

It is so hard to express just how much you mean to me, but I so want to try. I want to respond to the beautiful words that you put into your card and speech on our wedding day.

When we first met each other almost nine years ago, I remembered being overwhelmed by a desire to become a part of your world. You were so full of life, exciting, fun and interesting and you remained so until the day we lost you.

I have always felt so lucky that you chose me to share in your life experiences.

I remember our first date at Manchester Art Gallery. We held hands constantly. I always loved the feeling of entwining my fingers between yours.

I remember so many happy times spent climbing and bouldering. You would climb with your friends and I would watch. You would always check if I was OK and I always was, because I was watching one of your many talents with pride. I was in awe of how fearless and enthusiastic you were with so many things.

I remember seeing you kneeling on my doorstep the night that you proposed to me. You had a single red rose, a bottle of champagne and a giant engagement ring you had constructed from wire and tinsel.

I remember the exciting times that we spent working on our new home together – painting, lifting flagstones, demolishing rooms – any skill that you put your mind to you achieved. You were so intelligent with a great eye for detail.

I want to thank you for working tirelessly on our perfect home. I promise I will finish it for us and live there with you in my heart.

I remember our beautiful wedding day. It was quite simply the most wonderful day of my life. You were so much more than I could have ever wished for in a husband.

I remember the precious times we shared on our honeymoon. We felt so at peace, so relaxed and were so excited about the future. It was truly romantic. Every time you went swimming or snorkelling and I watched you, I could never quite believe I was married to you. You were the most handsome and perfect man I have ever seen and I always longed for you to come back out of the sea and be back with me.

Ian, there just aren’t enough superlatives to describe you. At work, where you excelled and dedicated so much of your time, they described you as the ‘gold standard’ of developers. But you were also the ‘gold standard’ of men – always smiling, always finding time for the family and friends that you loved so dearly, you were never cross, just kind.

Above all you were the ‘gold standard’ of husbands. Amazing, courageous, inspiring, entertaining, patient and loving.

Whilst I cannot believe that you are gone – I am in shock and hurting so very much – I am comforted and consoled by the rich tapestry of memories that we formed over our nine years together. Thank you.

All my love now, forever and always.