Trust me, I'm a braologist…

AS A gender we've won the right to vote, tackled equality in the workplace and shown that we can take on the world in a pair of four-inch stilettos. So why, ladies, have we never quite mastered the brassiere? We often complain that men don't know our bra size, but do we know it ourselves?

They've been around for a century, and are worn by 90 per cent of women, yet we've all heard the statistics: 80 per cent of us wear the wrong bra size, which can lead to poor posture, back pain, drooping breasts and a less-than-flattering silhouette.

As a nation, we spend more than 1 billion on bras and pants every year, and with bras costing from around 15 to well over 100, we're wasting a lot of money on ill-fitting lingerie that does nothing for our figures.

And that's where "braology" comes in. It is now possible to study for a diploma in the subject, ending in a qualification awarded by Fayreform, a lingerie company specialising in bras for D-cup to J-cup women.

A representative from Fayreform is also travelling around Britain training lingerie shop staff to become braologists. When I heard that the team at Boudiche, which has boutiques in Glasgow and Edinburgh, would be training for their diplomas, I decided to join them, reasoning that "braologist" would at least look eye-catching on my CV.

When I meet my three fellow braology students along with Fayreform's head braologist, Michelle Medhurst, at Boudiche in Glasgow, we get straight down to business. We're each handed a weighty tome that rivals in size any university textbook I remember buying, and told to swot up on everything from the history of the bra to the anatomy of the breast. Before long, everyone's exchanging tales of their sorriest cases and joking that they can tell that a woman is wearing the wrong bra size from 50 paces. As the only woman present who doesn't measure breasts for a living, and as someone who's been wearing the same bra size for a good couple of years, I'm suddenly acutely aware that I'm in danger of being sized up.

The horror stories soon expand to include personal experiences of being fitted. One of my fellow students went to one of the biggest chains in the country to be measured – and was fitted with her coat on. Another talks of visiting two different department stores to find that each said she was a different bra size. My own worst experience came when I went to get fitted with my sister and our fitter switched continually between the two changing rooms, shouting a running commentary to each of us – and to the rest of the store.

Most women have at least one sorry experience of being fitted for a bra, which is why it's so important that it's done correctly. So how exactly does one go about it? As it turns out, it's a fairly complicated process that understandably hinges upon putting the customer at her ease.

It's good to know what mistakes you should look out for. Michelle explains that most women who are wearing the wrong bra size are wearing a back size that's too big and a cup size that's too small. Tell-tale signs that you're wearing the wrong size include: being able to stretch the band at the back out too far (you should be able to slide two fingers underneath it and tug it just a little); the band sitting too high up your back; and the underwire digging into the side of the breast under the armpit.

The underwire does most of the support work, so the shoulder straps shouldn't dig in too much – if they do, they're carrying too much weight. The underwire should sit under your breasts, flat against the chest, while the centre front (the piece between the breasts where the underwire meets) should be snug against your body. Lastly, your breasts shouldn't bulge out over the top of your bra.

The nuts and bolts of the fitting start with a snug measurement taken under the bust while the customer is wearing their own bra, the back size. This determines the first part of your bra size (the number – 32, 34 etc). A correctly fitting bra should fit closely on the end hooks; the hooks further in are there so that as the bra loosens off after a few washes you can tighten it. If a brand-new bra fits only on the tightest hook setting, it could be too big.

The next stage in the fitting – determining the cup size – is pretty much trial and error. Michelle suggests simply asking the customer what size she is currently wearing, then sizing up whether it is too big or too small, before taking a couple of options into the changing rooms.

Finally, I'm shown how to fit the bra – bend forward and "fall" into the cups, adjusting the straps accordingly. Most women have one breast that's slightly bigger than the other; the bra should be fitted to the largest breast and the straps should be adjusted independently to allow for differences in size.

It's complicated stuff and I'm increasingly aware that I have both a practical exam and a written exam ahead of me. I'm given a week to practice on ten women (much to the irritation of my friends and family members) before being summoned back to Boudiche for my final challenge: to fit head braologist Michelle. I'm nervous – this is like being asked to paint Lucian Freud or cook breakfast for Gordon Ramsay. I become very aware of how cold my hands are. I fumble with the straps and struggle with the hook-and-eye fastening.

And yet, by some miracle, I measure her correctly.

My reward? A framed diploma in braology, complete with swirly writing and an official-looking seal bearing what I assume are the three principles of braology: "skill, knowledge and excellence".

Forget my Bachelor of Architecture; this is a qualification to be proud of, and certainly one in which everyone seems far more interested than some ruddy degree I spent years working towards.

It's arguably more useful, too – I'm finally wearing the correct bra size and I'm rather enjoying telling friends that they're wearing the wrong ones: when one friend questioned my wisdom as I stuck my hand down her top while she was driving (a method that isn't outlined in the braology manual), I was able to simply tell her: "Trust me, I'm a braologist."

BACKGROUND

FULL CUP

KEY FEATURES: Higher topline and a rounded cup.

GREAT FOR: Women with a fuller bust. This is a comfortable choice offering support and a smooth line under clothing.

BEST BRANDS: Fayreform, Freya

PLUNGE

GREAT FOR: Smaller busts looking for a boost. Creates a deep cleavage and works under low-cut V-neck tops.

KEY FEATURES: Low centre and wide, V-shaped line across the bust.

BEST BRANDS: Wonderbra, Ultimo

CONTOUR

KEY FEATURES: Smooth, moulded shape.

GREAT FOR: Supporting and minimising larger busts and giving shape to smaller busts. The contour bra gives a smooth appearance under tight tops.

Best brands: Marks & Spencer, Knickerbox

BALCONETTE

KEY FEATURES: Low horizontal topline.

GREAT FOR: Boosting your cleavage. The balconette style gives a more subtle cleavage than a plunge bra and is great under round necklines. It suits a range of breast sizes, but is particularly suited to firmer busts.

BEST BRANDS: Elle MacPherson Intimates, Mimi Holiday

DEMI-CUP

KEY FEATURES: Similar to the balconette, the demi-cup, inset, is cut even lower.

GREAT FOR: Wearing under evening gowns or very low-cut tops.

BEST BRANDS: Agent Provocateur, La Senza

STRAPLESS

KEY FEATURES: Smooth and moulded, strapless bras will often have three or even four hooks, with boning or strong mesh for extra support.

GREAT FOR: wearing under strapless clothes. A good strapless bra is a wardrobe essential.

BEST BRANDS: Fantasie, Rigby & Peller