April Fool: Ill-fated Glen Sannox ferry lined-up to carry Scottish football team home from Germany

As we are sure you have guessed, this story is an April Fool’s
Glen Sannox returns after sea trials in the Clyde in February. Photo by John DevlinGlen Sannox returns after sea trials in the Clyde in February. Photo by John Devlin
Glen Sannox returns after sea trials in the Clyde in February. Photo by John Devlin

Ministers have drawn up secret plans to use the long-delayed ferry Glen Sannox to ferry the Scottish football team home from Germany after the Euros.

It is thought the trip could be built into sea trials of the ill-fated vessel currently taking place, and provide a desperately needed piece of positive PR for Humza Yousaf's government ahead of the General Election.

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However, the audacious plan is reliant on Steve Clarke's men navigating their way out of the group stages of the tournament to ensure the pride of Ferguson Marine will actually arrive in time to take them home.

"Scotland's football heroes deserve the best, and what better than one of the most expensive ships of its type ever built to carry them home after their campaign," said a government source.

"They have even been stocking up the vending machines in preparation, although they were installed before the advent of contactless so we will need to provide bags of one pound coins.

"All we need is for Scotland to somehow get into the group stages to enable them to get this boat to Hamburg to pick up the team.

"It would be quite something to see the team coming home victorious on a boat which, let's face it, we have all invested so much into, up the Clyde or into the Port of Leith. And if things do not go to plan, they will have a very long journey to think about it before being dropped off in disgrace at Dunoon."

The project, codenamed Polar Foil, has received the go-ahead from the highest levels of government.

It is thought the ship may be rebranded for its trip to Germany, with suggestions already ruled out including wrapping it in a Saltire and changing its name to the the Glen Dawdle.

The source added: "Just like Rishi Sunak believes a flight to Rwanda will somehow turn the polls ahead of the election, the SNP think a ferry actually moving carrying passengers will make all the difference.

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"Any re-branding will inevitably mean a further delay to the Glen Sannox finally entering service but at this stage - who's counting? It's full steam ahead."

The Scottish Government refused to comment last night.



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