Silent mistresses find voice against priests

A SUPPORT group for women who have affairs with Catholic priests is opening a branch in Scotland because its English headquarters cannot cope with the number of calls received from Scottish women.

Sonflowers says women from north of the Border have contacted them for support after having children with Scottish priests or long-term affairs with supposedly celibate clergymen.

Adrianna Alsworth, the founder of Sonflowers, also revealed that two Scottish women who contacted them discovered they were having an affair with the same priest. She said they were deeply shocked to learn the truth about their two-timing lover.

Alsworth, who refuses to reveal the identity of priests or give further information about the calls she receives, wants to set up a base in Scotland.

She says the move is necessary because the Catholic Church in Scotland refuses to acknowledge the scale of the problem among Scotland’s clergy.

The most high-profile case in recent times was that of Roddy Wright, Bishop of Argyll and the Isles, who ran off with his housekeeper, Kathleen McPhee, in 1996. It later emerged he had previously fathered a son with another woman in 1981. Wright sold his story to a Scottish tabloid, wrote a book and then wed McPhee in 1998.

Alsworth has already had a run-in with the Catholic church in Scotland after she tried to advertise Sonflowers on parish notice-boards and in official church publications.

Alsworth, who set up her Northamptonshire-based group after having two daughters with an English priest, says the Scottish church will have to face up to its "silent mistresses" in the same way it has been forced to confront the issue of paedophile clergy.

She said: "The Church in Scotland wants to pretend this is not a major issue and that it is indeed very rare.

"But it’s only the sad cases which hit the headlines and as long as there’s no publicity, the Church is happy to turn a blind eye to what’s going on.

"I know of many older priests who have been in long-term relationships which are an open secret in their parishes.

"Sadly, all the stress and responsibility is placed on the women and it’s a heavy burden to bear. If the relationship becomes public, it’s the woman, the Church’s silent mistresses, who get the blame."

She also told how she counselled a Scottish teenager who only discovered his father was a priest after he started university.

"The revelation was so terrible the boy suffered a nervous breakdown and withdrew from his course. He was himself a churchgoer and his faith was shattered."

Alsworth believes priests with children should be made to resign and work to support their offspring.

She blamed priestly celibacy for placing unnatural stresses on priests, harming their emotional development.

She said: "Young men spend six years in a male environment at seminary then are thrust into parishes where they feel isolated. They are often sexually immature but have enormous power over people."

Father Steve Gilhooly, a parish priest from Edinburgh, said he was aware of a number of his fellow priests who had had relationships which forced their departure from the priesthood.

He said he did not know, however, of any cases of priests continuing in office after fathering children.

Gilhooly said the official Church was guilty of ignoring the women involved in these cases, much as they had ignored the plight of victims of clerical abuse in the past.

"Some people within the Church will see them as women who have deflowered chaste priests and should be blamed or ostracised for that.

"However, I would say that most ordinary, decent Catholics will nowadays be a lot more humane and realise that relationships do happen and that’s part of life."

Gilhooly said the stigma of leaving the priesthood had faded in recent years, making it more likely priests would leave rather than live a double life.

He added: "After all of the abuse cases of the last few years across the international Church, there will probably be a feeling among most Catholics of relief, that at least the priest who fathered a child was normal and heterosexual and not an abuser of children."

Peter Kearney, spokesman for the Catholic Church of Scotland, said he had not heard of Sonflowers.

He added: "I think it is unfair to claim this is a widespread problem. If there are all these women and priests out there having affairs, they are doing very well to keep it a secret. The bishops expect priests to maintain high standards and as in any walk of life, there will be some who fail to do so."

Briefing

The international Catholic Church has been rocked by a number of scandals involving priests ignoring their vows of celibacy and fathering illegitimate children.

The most high-profile case in Ireland featured the former Bishop of Galway, Eamon Casey, who resigned in 1992 after revelations he had a son with parishioner Annie Murphy. In Scotland, Bishop Roddy Wright caused a scandal when he ran off with his housekeeper in 1996.