Random top ten: Silly Edinburgh Fringe show titles

1 Chomp: A Zombie Musical

A musical at C Venues in which a team of zombie hunters battle mutants who are trying to take over Earth, as mutants do. "Catchy, original songs, explosive special effects and stunning performances" are promised.

2 Cheese-Badger (and Other Stories)

Comedy show at the Hive on Niddry Street which, according to the blurb in the programme, "towers above Edinburgh like a humorous Godzilla with spectacles and a balalaika". A balalaika is a Russian musical instrument, in case you didn't know.

3 Do Black Patent Leather Shoes Really Reflect Up?

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Yes, we'd been wondering that too. Find out in Church Hill Theatre's 1950s coming-of-age story about eight children's Catholic education.

4 Sea Spray and Cuckoo Spit

In a small fishing town on the South Devon coast fantasy and reality collide when the sea brings a stranger to a family struggling to live with loss. So it says here. Find out exactly where cuckoo spit enters the equation at Augustine's on George IV Bridge.

5 Baba Yaga Bony Legs

A family show at Sweet ECA, featuring "a witch with iron teeth and a girl with a kind heart". And a silly title.

6 Facebook: The Musical

This one was sort of inevitable, wasn't it? "Fresh romantic comedy with a darker adult edge," promise C Venues. Next year, expect Twitter: The Musical, which will be much the same except shorter and with more frequent performances.

7 Abacus Danger and the Pits of Panic

The likes of Steven Davidson, right, do pantomime in this stand-up show at the Royal College of Surgeons, featuring "occasional swearing, booing and human flight".

8 Your Mother's Got a Fridge Magnet from Jupiter!

Comedian John McGuinness explains how to survive when your children leave home. Possibly niche entertainment for older audiences at the Mercat Bar, although the Big Issue apparently called him an "undiscovered comic genius".

9 Everything Must Go (Or the Voluntary Attempt to Overcome Unnecessary Obstacles)

An "athletic-puppet duet" by Kristin Friedricksson, featuring the performer's 78-year-old father in drag. Includes "cinefilm, clowns, and dancing on graves". Find out more at Augustine's.

10 Dude! Where's My Teddy Bear?

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Bring your own teddy bear to participate fully in this rock'n'roll musical for two- to seven-year-olds (and their parents, clearly) at the Pleasance Dome. Dude! Where's My Teddy Bear? has previously been performed at the Glastonbury Festival, you know. We're guessing that it wasn't on the main stage with Bruce Springsteen.

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