SNP conference diary: Facists [sic], whiskey [sic] and art attacks

We don’t need no education

A large white panel at SNP conference invited delegates to “tell us what you would like to see in an independent Scotland” using marker pens. Given what followed, party bosses probably regretted ever asking. “Better education system’s [sic],” read one message, cleverly displaying multiple layers of ignorance in just three words.

Party bosses probably regretted asking members about their hopes for an independent Scotland | The Scotsman

...on second thoughts

“Nae facists, [sic]” read another message, while one hoped for “more whiskey [sic] production”. I mean, come on. You’re supposed to be nationalists.

Art attack

A rare display of open revolt within the SNP, as councillors made their unhappiness at the lack of consultation over local government reform clear at a conference fringe meeting. But Ivan McKee, the Public Service Reform Secretary, is not the only target of internal ire. Eyebrows were raised recently when it emerged Hannah Mary Goodlad, the public finance minister, was hiring an "artist in residence" in her constituency to “help communicate our message across Shetland”. As one party source put it: “The minister partly in charge of removing public sector workers is saying, ‘Aye but make me a sculpture and I’ll give you a job,’ and we’re supposed to defend it? It’s indefensible.”

Sing for your supper

Friday night saw a conference karaoke event hosted by Young Scots for Independence, but not everyone is a fan. Appearing at a fringe event, Health Secretary Angela Constance was having problems being heard. "I promise not to sing,” she said, after finally getting her microphone to work. "I will do many things, but I will never ever appear at the YSI karaoke.”

Moment of clarity

Energy minister Stephen Gethins, on the other hand, clearly didn’t want to miss out on the social aspects of conference. Asked to do a Radio 5 Live interview at 11pm, he commented: "Us politicians always get criticised for not giving straight answers to journalists. But I'll give a very clear answer to this one." If only he could bring the same clarity to his party's position on oil and gas.

Cost of living latest

More tales of daylight robbery at the P&J Live arena, where a bottle of diet coke will set you back £4.90 and a baked potato £10. A distinctly average black coffee, meanwhile, cost this reporter an eye-watering £4.60. “If this conference goes on much longer, we’ll be as broke as Scotland’s councils,” observed one wag.

Writing on the wall

Back to that panel of SNP members’ hopes and dreams, where other bizarre suggestions included “Scotland’s own airline” and “our own media”. We won’t take it personally. Another delegate simply wrote “shinty”. Fair play.