SNP conference diary: Booze, buses and mind-blowing revelations

Proper hacks

Friday night saw the SNP conference media reception, which this year was sponsored by gas company SGN. Unfortunately, some journalists were unable to make it after being dragged away to cover Andy Burnham’s trip north earlier that day. "The best news for SGN is that because some journalists have been drawn away to Motherwell, they can't be here to stuff their pockets full of cans of beer, which is what I identified them doing last year," John Swinney told the event. Who said traditional journalism is dead? “That maybe explains some of what I've got to put up with reading every other morning,” the First Minister later observed.

John Swinney | PA

Frenemies

"A lot has happened in the last year, not least of which is the re-election for a fifth time of the SNP government and my re-election with my own mandate as First Minister," Mr Swinney told the reception. "I know that's something that has brought many members of the media a sense of unbridled joy, as it was very evident from the enormously encouraging tone that there was in advance of the election." His final remarks got the biggest laugh of all: “To the Scottish media, it’s always a pleasure to deal with you.”

Hopes and dreams

Earlier in his speech, Mr Swinney referenced the conference white board which invited delegates to “tell us what you would like to see in an independent Scotland”. This had caused much hilarity among hacks due to some of the more, er, interesting suggestions. Michael Blackley, the political editor of the Scottish Daily Mail, had drawn attention to one message calling for “our own media” in an independent state. "I don't want you to think for a moment that I spend a lot of my life following what Michael Blackley writes on twitter," Mr Swinney told the reception. "Michael is full of indignation about this, and the only thing I can say to Michael is, 'Did you not recognise my handwriting?'"

The driver’s seat

Health Secretary and conference convener Angela Constance had the time of her life sitting in the driver’s seat of a First bus, which was parked in the exhibition hall to promote the £2 bus fare rollout. Witnesses say she beeped the horn "at least 10 times" with a huge grin. A cry for help, or a pitch to be the next Transport Secretary?

Can we go home now?

Distinct signs the conference was running out of steam on Saturday morning, as public finance minister Hannah Mary Goodlad kicked off a debate on land taxation. “Conference, our country’s name is Scotland,” she helpfully pointed out. “Scot... land. Scot... Land. The clue is in the name.” Whoa. Mind... Blown.