FMQs sketch: Cops and Douglas Ross-ers as Humza Yousaf traverses the thin blue line

Humza Yousaf faced off against Douglas Ross and Anas Sarwar at First Minister’s Questions.

With attention of the Scottish political bubble firmly focused on the results of a vote in South Lanarkshire that will decide the next election (apparently), Humza Yousaf and his pals on opposite desks decided to turn to delinquency.

Top of the book was the issue of policing cuts – helpfully, for Labour, providing the opposition with the chance to raise potential closures of police stations in Rutherglen, and for Douglas Ross to tell the chamber once again that his wife is a serving police officer.

Mr Ross, whose schoolboy teacher’s pet act reached its peak, said the cuts meant the First Minister was a “criminal’s dream”.

Scotland's First Minister Humza Yousaf during First Minster's Questions (FMQ's) at the Scottish Parliament in Holyrood, Edinburgh

Cue the first yelps of anger from the otherwise muted SNP backbenchers.

Mr Yousaf retorted, saying the Tories had entered their “post-truth” stage, that they had become the “Conspiracy Party”. He also reminded the chamber of Mr Ross’s ever growing list of jobs.

The First Minister refused to stop the pummelling, but inevitably did not know when to stop, accusing Mr Ross of making up “lies” about Scotland’s straining police service.

The Tories yowled in anger, furious at the accusation that one of them made something up, while the SNP were simply delighted that someone else was in trouble.

Presiding Officer Alison Johnstone had other ideas and turned headmistress.

It is "wholly inappropriate” to suggest an MSP has lied in the chamber, chastised the Presiding Officer.

"I’m happy to call it a deliberate inaccuracy”, giggled Mr Yousaf, trying to impress his friends at the back of the class.

"I must ask that you apologise,” repeated Ms Johnstone in a tone reminiscent of a teacher desperate to retire.

"I’m happy to apologise to anybody that has been affected by the post-truth Tories,” mumbled Mr Yousaf, almost embarrassed at the lameness of the retort.

Another firm caution from the Presiding Officer followed, only for the SNP leader resorting to the political naughty schoolboy defence, apologising only for the “offence caused”.

Then Scottish Labour leader Anas Sarwar turned enforcer, raising the story of a woman in Rutherglen who had had to walk miles to access an open police station and report crime.

Keeping people safe is the “first duty of any government”, he said, before regressing to Labour’s favourite comfy blanket and repeating – again – that Mr Yousaf and the SNP are incompetent and the Tories crashed the economy.

You’d forgive those watching at home for thinking they were watching a repeat.

But prioritising message discipline above actual scrutiny? Labour must truly be ready for government.