Drumlanrig: Can't let Maggie go

The low point of a poor campaign for the Scottish National Party came when some of their activists spotted the deputy leader Nicola Sturgeon, below, wearing the ultimate in taboo accessories.

"We couldn't believe it, she was wearing a Maggie Thatcher pearl necklace," said one horrified SNP worker. That sort of jewellery doesn't go down to well in the working-class parts of Glasgow where she was campaigning at the time.

EASTERN PROMISE

THE SNP's failure to retain the Glasgow East seat won by John Mason just a few short months before has raised hackles among the party's faithful in Glasgow.

An order was issued to all activists in the city to concentrate their time and resources on the constituency, with the party desperate to avoid losing to Labour's Margaret Curran in its only Central Belt seat.

However, the edict infuriated activists in other Glasgow seats, where attempts to campaign had to be carried out under the radar of party bosses to avoid detection, lest they be dragged in to the Glasgow East mire.

One party source told Drumlanrig: "I know of one SNP candidate who ordered his team to ignore Glasgow East entirely and concentrate on their own seat – but he had to warn them to keep quiet about it in case it got him into trouble."

JACOBITE ROUT

What chances of another Jacobite rebellion? Not much, judging by the performance of the Scottish Jacobite Party in the election.

The leader of the aforementioned party, John Black (or Bonnie Prince John as he is presumably known), came last in Argyll and Bute with 156 votes.

Despite his lack of success, Bonnie Prince John does deserve some credit for running a clean campaign.

Unlike the Tories, who take cash from their own prince in (tax) exile, the Jacobites don't accept donations at all.

"That's because we don't have a bank account," their excellent website explains.

GOVERNING CONCERNS

While the UK political parties spent Friday night in a tense stand-off to see who would run the country, SNP leader Alex Salmond had other priorities – getting a decent pizza.

He was spotted wandering into Pizza Express round the corner from Holyrood on Friday evening, with a smile on his face despite his party failing to land 20 seats.

Staff at the pizza emporium remained tight-lipped when it came to Eck's order but his presence there does raise one important question: has Alex abandoned his beloved curries in favour of less calorific Italian cuisine?