The new normal - it's a walk in the park

When board games are the new high - Janet Christie's Mum's the Word
The Victoria Swing Bridge, LeithThe Victoria Swing Bridge, Leith
The Victoria Swing Bridge, Leith

The new normal...

Is Eldest dropping by to see if I’d like to go for a walk.

“Love to.” I’m behind on my step count. “Where to?” I say.


“On your way somewhere?” I say.

“No, just walking. For the exercise. And it’s good for the head.”

“Really? Er, good.”

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Well there’s only so much screen time a person can take – even millennials.

They were always feral, outdoor kids but it wasn’t for health reasons. It’s because they were up to something – skateboarding down shopping centre car parks (I found out later) or racing their pals up and over the span of the old swing bridge on the waterfront (Middle tells me this as we admire it on yet another walk).

“We used to race, one on each side, or in teams.”

“Oh God. What were you thinking?”

“Who could do it the fastest!”

And now he’s a climbing instructor.

“You don’t still climb the bridge do you?”

What did I say that for?

Later I Google to see exactly how high it is so I can have a retrospective shudder and give the boydults a hard time, 20 years too late.

“The largest swing bridge in the UK when it was built in 1874, later overtaken by the Kincardine and Tyne Bridges.”

No information on height. Hmph. Too high. Happy days.

The new normal… Is Youngest spending an hour doing my make-up, not hers, (that takes two).

“But I’m not going anywhere,” I say.

“Even better, gives us more time. And you don’t do it for anyone else, you do it for you. Stay still, I’m giving you a button nose.”

“Good luck.”

“Well, reshaping,” she says, wielding a fistful of brushes.

I have to sit very still so I phone Middle to check what he’s up to – not climbing bridges.

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“Hi Ma, I’m just cooking. My friend’s coming round and we’re…

“Don’t you be…”

“What? We’re going to play Cluedo.”

“Aye right.”

“We are. Or maybe…”

“What? Don’t you be partying and…”

“Monopoly. I think I prefer Cluedo though. Hmmm...”

The new normal...


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