Suits are boring and men should feel more comfortable about wearing nice things - Alexander Brown

I hate wearing a suit, I absolutely hate it.

If you’re one of those men who think there’s something great about suits, I would first ask who hurt you, and secondly, question why out of all the fun colours this world has to offer why you would settle on variants of grey.

This is my appeal for you to believe in something better, a life where you do not have to wear the same thing to work as you would a wedding, putting the labour into labour of love.

It’s not that I don’t look good in a suit, in fact I look so good that a girl who dumped me once backslid solely because she had seen me wearing glasses in one, a flattering realisation that also spoke volumes to the stock she put in my personality.

Standard suits are not for Alexander Brown. Picture: Getty Images

It’s a look tailor made for me, but also, for everyone else, with the universal nature being part of the problem.

I’ve tried grey suits, black suits, blue suits, and everything in between, and all of them left me cold.

Maybe it’s because I didn’t wear them at school, not to be all class war about it, but I just don’t see how jeans and a t-shirt make me any worse at my job.

I understand there is wanting to make an impression, but I’ve got more than enough short sleeves to do that anyway.

Suits are fundamentally boring, and a fun coloured sock or tie does not diminish from the fact you’re wearing a top you have to iron and a jacket that doesn’t keep you warm.

There is no individuality in them, even the gorgeous lining inside my Ted Baker number is crucially, an inside lining.

The nice bit is hidden, so we can all dress and look the same, wearing shoes less comfortable than trainers because it somehow makes us seem more professional.

Now I am not blind to the idea that suits are sexy.

A friend once told me when arranging to see her friend with benefits she would put on nice lingerie and tell him to put on the suit as the male equivalent, because what’s sexier than a man who looks like he has a job.

But I don’t feel good in them, I feel like Tom Hanks at the end of Big when he’s a child in a suit, or even worse, like an estate agent.

And don’t even get me started on ties, an item so ridiculous it should have been left in the past like ruffs.

They may be a rare chance to display individuality, but they are also frankly a food risk.

The only thing I want going in my tea is a little milk and biscuits, not some preposterous neck decoration that does far more to deprive oxygen than add sex appeal.

At Coachella, the reference point for all my work uniform considerations, Harry Styles wore a sequined jumpsuit that awakened something in me, albeit not like that.

Masculinity and professionalism should not stem from your outfit, and life is too short to be boring.

The age of suits is over. The time of fun fabrics has come.