Y u shudnt drnk, luv NHS Grampian

BEEP! Beep! 18:00hrs: This is a text message from NHS Grampian. You have been identified as a hazardous drinker. Remember to drink in moderation before you go out tonight.

Beep! Beep! 19:00hrs: This is a text message from NHS Grampian. Please remember you have been identified as a binge-drinker. Try and drink in moderation this evening.

Beep! Beep! 20:00hrs: This is a text message from NHS Grampian. Alcohol can seriously damage your health and lead to unwanted and dangerous situations. Please drink in moderation.

Beep! Beep! 21:00hrs: This is a text message from NHS Grampian. That’s your fourth pint in case you’ve stopped counting. Please remember …

Beep! Beep! 22:00hrs. This is a text message from NHS Grampian. Six pints is well over your safety limit and that’s before the whisky chasers. And the blonde you’re chatting up is well over the limit.

Beep! Beep! 23:00hrs. This is a text message from NHS Grampian. You’re well gone, so call it quits and get a taxi home before there’s more trouble.

Beep! Beep! 01:00hrs. This is a text message from NHS Grampian. Don’t, whatever you do, top yourself up with that treble gin and Dubonnet. She’s so not worth it.

Beep! Beep! 02:00hrs. This is a text message from NHS Grampian. Do try and get your head out the toilet bowl.

Beep! Beep! 08:00hrs. This is a text message from NHS Grampian. See what you’ve woken up to? We did warn you.