It appears that Andy Murray is planning to get married in a kilt – or even a morning suit, he’ll make up his mind on the day (how can we bear the suspense?).
And – giggle, giggle; nudge, nudge – might not wear anything underneath! Whoarr! Bad as that was, it was followed by a statement in bold, block capitals that the FULL STORY would be on page 4.
The “full story” was an extended repeat of the inanity on the front page, with a picture of the foxy hero. Who exactly is The Scotsman writing for nowadays, if this is regarded as “news”?