Thinking outside the computer box

In a world of mass experience, people crave the chance to express their individuality.

In an attempt to stand out from the crowd, we decorate ourselves with clothes, jewellery, tattoos and bits of metal stuck through unusual places.

As many in the West own computers, they seek to personalise those most impersonal of objects. This can be as simple as sticking things to your computer. My own work PC is decorated with pictures of noted cigar smoker Che Guevara, although a distressing number of colleagues seem to think they’re pictures of me when younger. (Note to the CIA: they’re wrong. I’m not Che. You got him. Please don’t assassinate me.)

Other simple tricks involve downloading screensavers (those little pictures that float across the screen when you’re not doing anything) or pasting the picture of a loved one on to your desktop. (NB: this does not mean literally pasting something to your table using glue.)

I used to have an illustration of the Internationale as my wallpaper but the Thought Police of the IT department reprogrammed me (sorry, that should read "my computer") and now I have a bold corporate logo, although they may not recognise the new company motto: Hasta la victoria siempre!

This is all small beer compared to the hardcore decoration that others go in for. They take apart their computers and change the casing into something they find pleasing. This is called "case modding". Many then post the results of their labours on the net for others to admire. Frankly, this kind of thing terrifies me. To me, my PC is a large black box that does stuff; the very thought that there might be bits involved makes me break out in a cold sweat.

Others, though, aren’t content with viewing their machine as a black box. At

pell.portland.or.us/~orc/crafts/ you can see a gold one (well, gold painted). I can just about get my head around painting a PC, though I would be wary of repeating my childhood experiences of using very strong solvents on Airfix models. I would not like to spend more time in the IT department corrective chamber explaining why my expensive computer was now a pool of black and gold liquid.

More ambitious projects can be found at a modding site with a fantastic URL. Many of the sites I link to have far too many numbers and slashes in their addresses - and offer no clue to their content. But thebestcasescenario.com/ does exactly what it says on the tin. It’s about getting the best out of your computer’s case.

Its gallery includes an Alien case mod that has turned a PC into a resinous extra from the sci-fi film, complete with skull sitting above the CD drive. There’s also a Matrix mod, complete with vulnerable human figure trapped inside a machine. I think anyone who’s worked with a PC will know how that feels.

Technically impressive though these mods are, they don’t defy belief.

Unlike the fishtank.

That’s right: the fishtank, as in large amounts of water and beings of a piscine persuasion. Inside a computer.

Now I know what you’re thinking. Large amounts of water and expensive electrical devices connected to the mains do not make happy bedfellows. (Boy, that’s one lesson I’ll never forget, until my next visit to the IT corrective chamber.) However, for a mere $720, Christopher Gulliver has indeed managed to incorporate a completely sealed fish tank into his PC. You can see the fish swimming around through the transparent sides of the machine. Gulliver insists that the watery bit and the large electric current bits are completely separate and cannot meet.

If he’s wrong then he might end up with a computer like the one the boys at 2cooltek.com/case001.html got stuck into. Bored with more conventional modding, they decided to put their case throught its paces with a variety of unusual tools.

I liked the pick-axe.

I liked the chainsaw.

And, being one of those people whose computer "enhances your user experience" by slowing to a crawl whenever there’s an imminent deadline, I loved the shotgun.

However, one unusual case mod takes the cake. To be precise, it takes the cake and then puts a computer inside it. At mini-itx.com/projects/gingerbreadvillage you can admire the Gingerbread Village Server, which is, as the name suggests, a working server hidden inside a gingerbread settlement.

Actually, I prefer the shotgun. I think we’re on to something with that.

• Stewart Kirkpatrick is the editor of Scotsman.com

Read a fulll version of this piece here.