Talk of the Town: SNP's slogan not close to Salmond's Hearts

HEARTS' derby victory on Saturday was not enough to stop deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon taking a dig at Alex Salmond's devotion to the club as she introduced him for his keynote address to the SNP conference.

She told delegates the First Minister was in a good mood after the result. But she said colleagues had been a little concerned about how Mr Salmond would feel about the party's election slogan, "Scotland needs champions".

Ms Sturgeon said: "As a lifelong Hearts supporter, we were not sure if the First Minister would get the concept of champion."

Something doesn't scan

SECURITY is more of an issue than ever these days, especially at airports, where bosses have started introducing controversial full-body scanners in a bid to prevent terrorist attacks.

The scanners have caused concerns about invasion of privacy, but it seems some people in Edinburgh aren't quite sure how they work.

On a bus trip to Edinburgh Airport recently, Talk of the Town overheard two people discussing the scanners, with one remarking: "I hear they are getting those full-body scanners at the airport soon," to which his companion replied in shocked tones, "Are those the ones that make you invisible?!"

A heady cocktail for Joey

OH TO be a mixologist.

In some lines of work (journalism, for example...) being at the top of your field wins you a night at a drunken awards do in Glasgow.

But if you're a professional cocktail shaker, being the best wins you a week-long party in New Zealand.

Joey Medrington of Montpelliers in Bruntsfield Place is heading to the world final of the 42BELOW Cocktail World Cup, which kicks off today. He'll join other mixologists to travel to Queenstown, then head to Wellington for a spot of sightseeing and a taste of the capital's nightlife.

For the grand final he'll take to the stage alongside kiwi chart-toppers Midnight Youth at Wellington's Old Museum Building, to shake his stuff in front of international judges.

Just another day at the office, then.

Like a house on Doubtfire

EVERYONE loves a bit of am dram cross dressing. Three cheers then, for Images Amateur Theatre Group, who are in final rehearsals for their stage production of Hollywood hit Mrs Doubtfire.

The show at Strathbrock Community Centre in Broxburn, opens on 26 March and the company promises "an emotional roller-coaster with poignant times and hilarious moments". Talk of the Town will be at the front of the queue for tickets, if only to see how they tackle the pyrotechnic challenges of Mrs Doubtfire's incendiary bosom.

Fire extinguishers (and saucepan lids) at the ready...