Talk of the Town: Musician's animal instincts revealed

PORTOBELLO'S finest, Phil Cunningham, may be one of the nation's best-loved musicians, but if things had gone to plan he would have ended up working at Edinburgh Zoo instead.

The 50-year-old accordionist, awarded an MBE for his musical career, has revealed he had other plans when he left Porty High in 1976 to join brother Johnny in the band Silly Wizard.

"I was supposed to be a zoologist," he said. "I never wanted to be a musician. I left school two years earlier than I thought I was going to leave, kind of hastily, joined the band only thinking I was going to be in it for a year, and that's like 34 years ago."

Avatar's the modern take on Beltane Fire Festival

THE sight of scores of dancers in coloured body paint cavorting around Calton Hill at the Beltane Fire Festival might have inspired ancient thoughts of fertility and fecundity in some.

But the reaction of others was a little more modern. With the procession snaking around the hill for almost two hours, mobile phones were a must for those tipping off friends as to where the action was at.

And when the performers finally reached the stage for their final tableau, there was one much-heard sentiment as the crowds clapped eyes on the dancers' blue-coloured skin: "It's just like Avatar..."

She won't be ec-static . . .

MOST people would be aware that the definition of "static" is not in physical motion.

However, it seems one city centre councillor is not so sure.

During a recent meeting in the City Chambers, thoughts turned to the arrival of Edinburgh's first tram.

Councillor Joanna Mowat said: "We welcome the arrival of the static tram." She then added that "unfortunately it is not moving at the moment", which led to laughter from administration councillors, with one pointing out that "that is the definition of static".

It's pretty simple – vote tea

THIS week's blanket election coverage is enough to drive anyone to drink – but one Princes Street store reckons exasperated voters have been turning to a slightly softer option.

Tea-seller Wittard of Chelsea claims to have seen a huge upsurge in sales since the election was announced.

A company spokeswoman said: "We think that people have been trying to cope with the stress of deciding who to vote for by drinking more tea."

Or perhaps there's so little difference between the parties that voters are happy to let the tea-leaves decide for them on Thursday.