Talk of the Town: Hotel unwraps its Christmas early

THEY say it gets earlier every year, and the mince pies and tinsel creeping into the shops suggest 2010 will be no exception.

But while it is almost accepted - or at least endured - that stores will start their Christmas marketing months before the big event, few would expect a restaurant to be rustling up a Christmas meal of turkey, cranberry and spuds just yet.

But festive fare was on the menu at the Rutland Hotel last night as it offered up mulled wine and samplers of their winter menu.

One can only hope the turkey doesn't get too dry after three-and-a-half months in the oven.

Joke's on John

ANYONE shopping in Tesco Newington last week might have caught a glimpse of some improv comedy free of charge.

Scouse funnyman John Bishop was checkmated at the checkout when he tried to buy a tower of supermarket chocs.

Pressing together 12 packets of Celebrations together vertically, he approached the till only to catapult the dozen boxes across the pay area of the store.

As if he wasn't embarrased enough, the chorus of laughter was led by top comic pal Kevin Bridges, who broke down in hysterics leaning on the checkouts.

Report's a page-turner

WHEN the city council decided to draw up a new policy for its libraries, it asked users of the service what they thought of it.

While many provided interesting responses on everything from the importance of new books to the need for newspapers, some of the responses proved to be somewhat less enlightening.

One user responded: "Some books are good."

And, in the spirit of social networking, the council also invited responses via its Facebook page: "One response 'likes this'", said the report.

An idea worth floating?

WITH jobs at Rosyth and on the Clyde still under threat from possible cancellation of the aircraft carriers contract, Glasgow Labour backbencher Ian Davidson took a novel approach to seeking reassurances from Nick Clegg, standing in for David Cameron at Prime Minister's Questions.

Mr Davidson asked if the Deputy Prime Minister was aware it was his birthday and whether, if he told him how to pay for it, he would agree to give him a present - two aircraft carriers.

Then, alluding to speculation about closer co-operation with the French, he added: "None of your foreign rubbish. I want British ones - and I don't want to have to share them with some French bloke." He said it could be paid for by cutting the UK's contribution to the EU.