Talk of The Town: Great comedian of the puddin' race?

DURING his time as Chancellor, Alistair Darling didn't exactly have the reputation of being a laugh a minute.

But with all the talk of the credit crunch and the collapse of Britain's banks, you could understand why he would have something of a stern exterior. So you can imagine that when it comes to entertaining a crowd, he's no Ricky Gervais.

Last weekend, Mr Darling was invited to give a short introductory speech ahead of the haggis being served up at an Edinburgh South West Burns Supper.

He then invited the haggis to be piped in, but nothing happened.

"Several minutes of Alistair attempting to ad-lib followed before the haggis and piper eventually sprung into tune and were paraded into the hall," said organiser Andrew Burns. "It was very, very funny. Well, everyone except Alistair thought it was very, very funny."

Smart call from SNP with election poster technology

ON the subject of politics, political parties not only compete for votes these days but also for the latest technology, it seems.

The SNP, launching its re-election campaign yesterday, boasted it was the first party in Britain to include a QR code on its new poster.

For the uninitiated, it's a square symbol in the bottom right-hand corner, looking very much like random squiggles, which allows you to use a smart phone to connect directly to the SNP's website and a list of its achievements over four years in government.

DJs in a spin over Burns

WORD reaches us that some listeners were left a little confused yesterday afternoon when presenters on one radio station kept proclaiming that it was St Andrew's Day, perhaps confusing it with Burns Night.

One eager-eared, if baffled, listener called the Evening News in astonishment. "I thought 'Am I going mad? Is it November already?'" she said.

Well, at least they didn't say it was St George's Day.

The ba's burst for Andy

AS Sky Sports analyst Andy Gray digests the news of his sacking following his musings about female official Sian Massey and her potential knowledge of the offside law, the Bargain Basement team in the Evening News advertising department is on stand-by.

In fact, the ad is already drafted, Andy, if you would like to give us a call.

For sale: One massive iPad, touchscreen, like new, barely used.