Talk of the Town: Find your place among the crowd

LIKE the best man whose gags are just a bit too close to the bone, there's always a joker ready to bring some light relief to every solemn occasion, no matter how questionable their taste might be.

And yesterday's Papal visit was no different. Among the crowds on Princes Street was one comedian addressing the masses with the most unofficial of instructions - "Catholics on the right. Protestants on the left. Those who don't know down the middle," he boomed, adding: "Hands up who's an atheist".

Briefs chat leaves Annabel in 'hoots of laughter'

STAYING with the Papal visit, it seems the Duke of Edinburgh was on his usual sparkling form.

During the official reception at the Palace of Holyroodhouse Prince Phillip met Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray, who was sporting a special papal tartan tie.

Clearly fascinated by the versatility of the tartan, the prince then turned to Scottish Conservative leader Annabel Goldie, who was standing nearby, and asked if she had a "pair of knickers made out of this?"

Miss Goldie retorted: "I couldn't possibly comment - and even if I did, I couldn't possibly exhibit them."

A Tory insider said afterwards that Miss Goldie was in "hoots of laughter" over the exchange.

She said: "It's marvellous to know that humour is alive and well in the royal family."

Fancy a protest? Go on, go on

HUMOUR was also alive and well on Lothian Road, where those objecting to the Pope's visit had been gathered in a "protest pen" by the police to make their point as delicately as possible.

While some let the side down with jeers and boos as the Popemobile sped past, others took a more light-hearted approach, handing out free condoms which were duly transformed into balloons, and blowing colourful vuvuzelas.

Perhaps the best statement however, came from a clearly-commited fan of the sitcom Father Ted, who stood his ground in the pen with a large sign reading simply "Down with this sort of thing".