Talk of the Town: Caller's body boob worth a police smile

OUR hard-working emergency services workers have got it tough.

If they're not risking their lives at genuine emergencies, they're taking abuse from ungrateful members of the public or their time is being wasted with hoax calls.

But surely police and fire crews in Linlithgow would have managed to crack a smile after they spent an hour searching the Union Canal for a body following a call from a passer-by – only to find the emergency had been sparked by a pair of plastic breasts

Apparently the concerned caller thought they saw a "pair of knees" sticking out of the water.

Greens work always useful to fill up recycling bin

IT HAS been noted by some councillors that there is an irony in the role of the Green Party councillors.

In most committees, they put forward at least a few amendments that are invariably rejected by most of the other councillors. In each case, they are printing off the amendment so that each of the councillors gets a copy – which some say is quite a waste of paper.

So when Councillor Maggie Chapman was discussing the reasons for the group not drawing up a budget proposal, she picked her words carefully. She said that the proposals would be "destined for the recycle bin". Well at least that's environmentally friendly.

Provost shows true colours

FORMER Lord Provost Eric Milligan is always one for doing his homework before delivering a well-worded political put-down.

And after listening attentively throughout last week's budget meeting as opposition councillors criticised the lack of vision of the Liberal Democrat/SNP administration, the Labour councillor picked his moment.

Taking a quip used in a debate from the world-famous Oxford Union Society, he said the Liberals' natural colour is Tory blue, "until they find themselves in hot water".

"Only then they turn red."

Seems it's all just TalkTalk

THERE'S nothing like a good first impression.

The website for mobile phone company TalkTalk has an encouraging message for anyone who wants to contact their press office. It makes it sound so easy: "Want an interview, looking for a case study, keen to get a statement? Please feel free to contact us with queries on the TalkTalk brand."

But give the telecoms brand a call and things aren't so simple. When our reporter last tried to get in touch both press office numbers were switched to voicemail and the answerphone cut off. On calling the same number back, a taut recorded voice apologised: "Sorry. This line is out of order."

If they can't get their own phones to work, what hope for customers?