Talk of the Town: A right Royal delay to start off the day

A WALK through Holyrood Park on your way to work can usually act as a calming start to the day - but not when the Queen is in town.

As one local worker discovered as she tried to take a shortcut across the large field in front of Holyrood Palace, when a Royal is in residence there is no telling what can happen.

As if the torrential downpour of yesterday morning was not enough to contend with, the already-late worker was met by an army of stewards in high-visibility vests, who ushered her to move away from the area as, they claimed, a helicopter was due to land "any minute".

And to ensure she didn't stray to close to the Royal ride, stewards insisted she go back the way she came.

Talk of the Town wonders if the Queen had to don her wellies to tramp across the muddy field to catch her lift.

Cultural comment on soap box at the square

IF YOU thought that people climbing on to the empty plinth in Trafalgar Square to show off was the cutting edge of art, then you must get down to Festival Square for The All Sided Games.

From July 23 to 25, Creative Scotland and Edinburgh's Collective Gallery have helped create a series of films and outdoor entertainment for what is known as the Cultural Olympiad.

In You Are Here, dancers will be elevated on podiums in Festival Square like speakers on soap boxes, for a performance which organisers say will "comment on the function of a town square".

You can catch the action between 7 and 9pm, when there will be repeated 20-minute performances.

When the dust clears

WITH all the construction work going on in Edinburgh in recent years you would think citizens would be used to the sight of grey dust floating over the rooftops.

Not so one resident of York Place, it would seem, who sent three fire engines racing towards the New Town following reports of smoke emanating from a building.

A fire and rescue spokeswoman said: "It was a false alarm. We attended to reports of smoke emanating from a building in York Place . . . which in fact turned out to be dust."

Women pray for Tiger fluff

AHEAD of the Open championship today, it seems support for recovering sexaholic Tiger Woods is dividing men and women.

An online survey indicated 80 per cent of female fans were hoping he fluffs his first shot, while 90 per cent of male fans backed Tiger to "bang one down the middle".