Sue Gyford: Back down to Earth with a bump

WHEN should a new mother hand over the baby and return to work? It's a tough question for every mum - not least, it appears, for B-list celebrities.

This week saw the latest bout in a row between Denise Van Outen and Natalie Cassidy over their own choices. Cassidy, best known for her role as Sonia on EastEnders, criticised Van Outen back in May when she returned to the West End stage two weeks after giving birth to daughter Betsy. Cassidy said Van Outen's job should be to be a mum, and nothing else.

So, when Cassidy took her six-week-old daughter Eliza on Lorraine Kelly's morning show to promote a fly-on-the-wall documentary about her pregnancy and birth, Van Outen saw red.

She lashed out on Twitter: "Natalie Cassidy criticised me for going back to work after having Betsy. Natalie's on Lorraine show now promoting her reality pregnancy/new mum show. Isn't that work?"

Van Outen has staunchly defended her decision, saying it meant she and her husband, musical actor Lee Mead, shared childcare, giving him the chance to bond with their daughter.

They're not the only high profile mums keen to get back to work. Marathon runner Paula Radcliffe returned to training just a week after giving birth to her son, Raphael, in September. It may have raised eyebrows, but it was clear from her comments at the time that she was hardly aiming for the finishing tape straight out of the delivery room: "I probably had a week completely off," she said. "I started doing a bit of cross training, walking and pelvic floor exercises, things like that. I'm hoping to do some running by Christmas and be back to doing normal training in January."

But what about the mums whose return to work doesn't involve stage, screen or track?

The benefits for mother and baby of being together in the early weeks and months have to be balanced against the need and desire of many mums to earn a wage, continue their career, and have regular adult company.

Frances Byatt-Smith is a former health visitor-turned life coach who runs The Parent Centre in Kirk Brae, offering one-to-one and group coaching to help improve parenting.

She says most mums she meets take as much time as possible off work - at least five months, and more if they can afford it: "I think the benefits are that she has more time to bond with her baby and more time to spend breastfeeding - and to get herself back together again after the pregnancy and the delivery."

However, she recognises that in the real world, things are not straightforward for any new mother: "It is a difficult one. I think we're all expected to work now and a lot of women are very highly qualified, they've gone to university, a lot of money has been spent to educate them and they themselves want to do their jobs."

Dr Katie Cebula, a child development lecturer at The University of Edinburgh, agrees. She says: "We know that the attachments that form between an infant and the adults in his/her life have a real influence on the child's social and emotional development, and the first year of a child's life is an important time in which attachment relationships develop.

"While these attachment relationships obviously cannot develop unless parents spend time with their child, this time need not be continuous: short separations do not prevent these relationships developing - indeed, a bit of a break from childcare from time to time is probably helpful.

"What is really important is the quality of the time that parents spend with their children."

And, it is impossible to discuss mothers' return to work without also looking at the role of fathers. Dr Cebula says: "There is real focus at present on the impact that working mothers might have on their child's development.

"Too often, the important role of the father is neglected; it is rare to see an article on when fathers should return to work, and whether they should work full- or part-time."

Parenting charity The National Childbirth Trust (NCT) is pushing for the role of fathers in early child development to become as important as that of mothers, lobbying to see 12 months of parental leave to be paid in full, whether taken by mother or father.

An NCT survey of more than 1,500 mothers who had recently returned to work revealed that 39 per cent found going back to work after having a baby to be "difficult" or "very difficult" and 31 per cent said their relationship with their boss had deteriorated.

Not only that, 32 per cent felt their promotion prospects had dropped since becoming a mother, and 13 per cent said their seniority had been reduced since returning to work.

The organisation suggests that mothers work with their boss on a handover plan and get agreements in writing about how things will work after their return.

Chief Executive Belinda Phipps says: "Despite changes to the welfare system to encourage mothers to return to work, and a raft of legislation for employers, the reality is many women still find returning to work after a baby an incredibly daunting and difficult experience.

"It's time employers got a grip not just of their policies and paper work but how to help their managers talk to and support mums after what is often the most important and life-changing event of their lives."

So for those mothers who are returning to the daily grind rather than life in the public eye after having a baby, there are no easy answers - but at least their decision is unlikely to turn into a public slanging match.

MUM'S THE WORD

Denise Van Outen Went back to the West End two weeks after giving birth.

Natalie Cassidy Took her six-week-old daughter on television to promote a show.

Paula Radcliffe Started gentle exercise a week after giving birth.

Rachida Dati French justice minister returned to work five days after a C-section.

Anne Diamond The TV presenter gave birth to her fourth son on a Friday evening and was back on air on Monday morning, but has since said she regrets it.