Stephen McGinty: When sorry seems to be the only word that will do

THE taglines on cinema posters have often given me cause to indulge in pedantry. Alien famously insisted that "In Space No-One Can Hear You Scream", but since the action took place on a spacecraft the shrill peals of the monstrously slain were, I think you will find, all too audible. A more accurate tagline might have been, "In the vacuum of space no-one can hear you scream", hmm – not nearly as catchy. Yet the one that has really bugged me is from Love Story, the 1970 smash in w

"Love," declared movie posters stretching around the globe, "means never having to say you're sorry". I don't know about you, but, as a married man, love means constantly having to say you're sorry. On a daily basis. Several times. Before breakfast. Let's put it this way: if I had an iPhone I'd want an "apology" app which would say "sorry" in a different celebrity voice, beginning with Yoda – "sorry, he is" – and moving up, depending on the gravity of the situation.

And would we really want it any other way? Imagine the conversations:

"Aren't you going to apologise?"

"But I love you?"

"So?"

"Love means never having to say you're sorry. It's like a get-out-of-jail-free card."

"You still owe me an apology."

"I'm sorry… but I don't love you."

The genuine apology – rather than the daily matrimonial fudge – should not be overused, but, when applied correctly, it has power, which is why I applaud Nicola Sturgeon's use of the word "sorry" in her ministerial statement this week.

We all make mistakes, but by admitting them and offering a genuine apology we show a vulnerability people respect and warm to, as each of us knows that, should we withhold forgiveness or understanding to the penitent, it may not then be there for us when we require a tender mercy.

What the Deputy First Minister said shone with a simple brilliance. She asked whether there should be a "more general willingness" to reflect on honest mistakes and suggested that such an approach would be "much better for our politics than the instant judgment that all of us, me included, so often rush to". Ms Sturgeon used the word "sorry" once, and it was all that was required. Tiger Woods, meanwhile, used the word three times in his 1,808-word mea culpa . Bill Clinton, meanwhile, used the word only four times in 24,467 words he spoke in various press conferences, speeches and statements which were required to extricate himself from Monica-gate.

But no-one apologises as well as the Rev Jesse Jackson; granted, he has had plenty of practice, most recently apologising to President Barack Obama for the slight matter of stating that he wished to castrate him – a statement that could have secured him a place on the Secret Service's threat list. However, his great eulogy to personal regret was made at the 1984 Democratic Convention, following the rather rash and foolhardy decision to refer to people of the Jewish persuasion as "hymies" and New York as "hymietown".

He said: "If, in my low moments, in word, deed or attitude, through some error of temper, taste or tone, I have caused anyone discomfort, created pain, or revived someone's fears, that was not my truest self. If there were occasions when my grape turned into a raisin and my joy bell lost its resonance, please forgive me. Charge it to my head and not to my heart. My head, so limited in its finitude; my heart, which is boundless in its love for the human family. I am not a perfect servant. I am a public servant doing my best against the odds. As I develop and serve, be patient: God is not finished with me yet."

Rather wonderful, although for quoting the phrase "joy bell", I am deeply sorry.