Slavehearts

Wednesday’s Scottish Questions in the House of Commons was a fine example of “fix ’n’ farce” by the Wizards of Westminster.

Right from the start it was clear that planted questions and responses had been carefully prepared by Tories, Liberal Democrats and Labourites in advance of the session, allowing a united unionist front to attack anything vaguely connected with Scottish self-determination.

Labour asked this, that and the next, and the Lib Dems’ Michael Moore and the sole Scottish Tory answered in a wondrous show of across-the-floor agreement. This was interspersed by barely relevant questions from an ­assortment of English Tory back-benchers, their noses set at an angle 20 degrees more elevated than that of normal human ­beings.

The surprise act of the show was the Shadow Scottish ­secretary, Comrade Margaret Curran, who actually went for the throats of Mr Moore and lone Tory David Mundell.

As the session drew to a close, the elect and elected came pouring in for Prime Minister’s Questions. They blethered away among themselves, several dozen different conversations going on, and the Speaker had to order them to be quiet. They ignored him.

They weren’t going to be bothered by boring Jock business – it was, after all, a token thing to pretend that the Scotch actually mattered, for they don’t.

Only a simpleton would have failed to notice that the proceedings treated Scotland with 
contempt, totally, sneeringly and uncompromisingly. The 
unionist Scots who played along with it are, indeed, slavehearts.

Thomas R Burgess

St Catherine’s Square

Perth