Now it's getting serious as the political life of Brian changes

THERE are lots of funny moments in the life of Brian. There was his founding of the all-party parliamentary pie club, of which he assumed the presidency, no less. There was the time he led the "No, No" campaign against devolution in the referendum. That was a bit of a laugh, as it was never going to succeed. But at least he tried, when all the others had left the field. And before all that there were his days as an outrider for the radical Right and its leader, Michael Forsyth.

Yes, Brian Monteith, for it is he, has added to the gaiety of the modern Scottish nation. There has, however, always been a lingering doubt about whether the Tory MSP was really a serious political player - or would be allowed to be by his party. The man who on Wednesday took centre stage at the Tory press conference alongside Oliver Letwin has not always been as central to Conservative plans in Scotland.

To put it bluntly, there are some of his colleagues with long memories of the days of infighting between the Forsyth-istas and the Rifkind-ites, who regard Monteith as an inveterate plotter who can’t be trusted. And they are uncomfortable that he is now at the centre of their plans for the general election, and the Holyrood poll to come, as finance spokesman.

THEY must have been horrified that he appeared up on the podium beside Oliver and with David (McLetchie) and Peter (Duncan) further away from the camera shot. How can this have happened? traditional Tories will have asked themselves. The answer is simple: Monteith, the man who led the campaign against home rule, has been one of the few Conservatives who is comfortable in the Scottish Parliament.

So, on Wednesday, there he was doing what many commentators, including this one, had dared the opposition parties to do - putting forward a costed list of proposals for a Tory administration at Holyrood. Unlike the SNP, which foolishly sees it as a Unionist trap, the Tories are beginning to flesh out how they would spend Holyrood’s 23 billion budget.

Now, of course, we must take such a plan with a pinch or two of salt. For a start, there is no immediate prospect of Mr Monteith and his Tory chums getting their bottoms on the seats of ministerial cars and being in a position to implement their plans.

But that does not mean that they are of no use at all. Holyrood has substantial powers and a substantial budget, and it is vital for the democratic process that the voters realise that there are other ways of using those powers and spending such a vast amount of money.

Monteith and McLetchie would privatise Scottish Water, move schools spending to the centre to cut council taxes, slash 250 million from Scottish Enterprise, abandon community schools and set up state-funded academies. And they would, they say, be able to give pensioners a council-tax discount, cut the business rate, employ more police and fill some more of the many pot-holes in Scotland’s appalling road system.

THERE are flaws in the plan. First, it assumes that the Executive’s promise of 745 million in "efficiency gains" by 2007/08 can be met - an assumption that many Labour MSPs privately doubt. Unlike the Executive, though, Monteith is prepared to say that his plans would involve getting rid of some 1,000 civil servants, which would certainly go some way towards meeting the efficiency target.

And there are some detailed questions which must be asked on the consequences of these plans. Would councils reduce their council tax if you took schools away from them? You cannot, without legislation, force them to.

Would it really be that easy to end the community-schools scheme and set up academies, just like that? Probably not. If you took such a huge chunk of Scottish Enterprise’s budget, would small companies, run by job-generating entrepreneurs, be killed off?

All of these questions need to be answered, but at least the 916 million tax-cut plan is a decent attempt to show that, to twist a phrase once used by Margaret Thatcher, there is an alternative.

Monteith is not perfect. He’s not the Messiah. He’s just a very naughty Tory - he’s got ideas. But with these plans, his party should at least be looking on the bright side of political life.