Irony-free split

When I read that Gwyneth Paltrow and her husband were to “consciously uncouple” (your report, 27 March) I had a vision of two giraffes I once saw in the Kruger Game Park in a post-coital dismount.

This latest irony-free chunk of Paltrow pretentiousness came after months of rumours about “conscious coupling” away from home and is what normal people call a divorce.

In case her fans fear her young children will be caught in the crossfire, she wants to assure them the separation will be a lovely event – one they might even, you know, envy.

(Dr) John Cameron

St Andrews